What Grieving Does To The Body After Cremation
My friend Norma’s mother died a few years ago. Norma and I talked frequently as she moved through the grieving process, and I was able to share my experience of my own parents’ deaths. Norma spoke of how she was affected physically. “I thought I was losing my mind,” she said. I was unable to concentrate on the task at hand, both at home and at work. I felt as if my life was in pieces and I couldn’t see how to put it together again. And every day there was some new manifestation in my body.  I had a lot of headaches and I wasn’t sleeping well. My back muscles were tight and sore. At first I didn’t realize it was related to my loss and my grief.”
Working Your Way Through
Grieving is a “whole person” experience. It causes emotional and spiritual pain, which we can expect and anticipate. What we forget, sometimes is that grief also affects us physically; we experience grief in our bodies.
Listen To Your Body
You might be surprised at the range of physical symptoms that can come as you grieve a significant loss in your life. People describe a whole range of sensations, such as a tightness in the throat, a heaviness in the chest, headaches, stomach upsets, increased fatigue, anxiety and panic attacks. Your body is programmed to respond automatically with certain defense mechanisms whenever life demands that it adapt to change. So these mechanisms kick in during grief, as your body, emotions and spirit are called to adjust to the change brought on by significant loss. It’s part of the process you go through as you strive to restore balance to your life. When you suffer a deep loss, your sense of security and safety are threatened. Change breaks into your life, and change can trigger the biological defenses mentioned above. Looking back on her experience, Norma remembers feeling completely exhausted in the first months after her mother’s death and funeral. She normally worked out at least a couple of times each week, but after the death she felt no energy for that. She talked with her doctor, which helped her realize it was even more important for her to maintain a healthy lifestyle now. Anyone working through grief is using a lot of energy, and will be more prone to colds and viruses because the immune system is suppressed. I remember that I lost about 8 pounds right after my mother’s death. It really took its toll on me physically. You might be fearful of these physical symptoms, worried that something serious is “wrong” with you. In fact you body is coping with the assault of the grief. Your body holds and carries your grief and your deepest emotions. The symptoms might become exaggerated if you are not dealing adequately with the emotions triggered by you loss. One way or another, the feelings make themselves known. They cry out for recognition and attention. Try not to ignore or dismiss lightly these physical symptoms.  Evaluate how you are feeling each day, physically as well as emotionally. Your body will tell you how you are doing. Everything we experience is somehow recorded in our bodies. You are more likely to have an increase in these manifestations of grief if you are not dealing fully with your emotional pain. But even if you are working with your grief and identifying your feelings, you might still experience a physical illness. It’s just another way your body has of coping with pain and loss. “It was a surprise to me that grieving feels so much like….sickness.”
Seek Professional Help
Even though there is an underlying cause for the bodily symptoms you experience, you still might need professional guidance and assistance to get through this part of your grieving. If you are having symptoms that are very disruptive to your life, such as insomnia, eating disorders or panic attacks see your physician and discuss your situation. Over time these physical symptoms take their toll on you and your body. If ignored they could lead to more serious illness or physical problems. Your doctor can help treat you so that you are more comfortable and have some relief. There are medications to help you sleep, to relieve anxiety, to calm an upset stomach so you can eat properly. All of this will help you attend to the emotional impact of your loss. Having relief from the physical complaints does not mean you can then ignore the loss. With physical comfort, you are better able to address the feelings and emotions the loss has evoked in you. You might also need professional help for this part of the process. Grief counseling individually or in a support group, can be very beneficial. Talking with a counselor or spiritual leader can also be helpful as you grapple with the big questions a loss raises for all of us, questions about the meaning and purpose of life. See this moment as an opportunity for personal exploration and growth.
Create A Gentle And Healing Enviroment
This time of grieving is not a time to be harsh, critical or judgmental of yourself or of your feelings. Every person’s grief is personal and unique; there are as many ways to move through the process as there are persons experiencing loss. Accept whatever you are feeling as being normal for you at this time. While there are some general similarities and patterns that can assist the process and lessen some of the distress that you feel, there is not a “right” and “wrong” way to grieve a loss. It’s good for you to treat yourself with extra kindness and love during this time. Pamper yourself-physically and emotionally. To avoid a secondary illness when you are increasingly vulnerable and susceptible, do those things you know are healthy for you. Get adequate rest.  If you have trouble sleeping, your doctor can give you temporary aid. Continue to get appropriate exercise and to feed your body healthy food to maintain nutritional balance. Keeping your body in good shape will help lift your mood and your daily outlook during the grieving period. And your exercise doesn’t have to be high-level to be helpful. Walking is one of the best ways to gently exercise while working through a loss. Many people have their own methods of relaxation. Some rely on meditation and massage. Reading a good book or listening to music can distract you and relax you for a bit. Being in touch with your spiritual self can help you to deal with pain and sadness. Talk to God in prayer and contemplation. Meditate on scripture or other inspirational writing. Attend worship services that offer the comfort of familiar rituals for you. Grieving well and completely takes time, and it can take many twists and turns along the way. It involves intense feelings and emotions-love, sadness, fear and anger to name a few. And all of these can and will at least partially, express themselves in physical symptoms and complaints. This is a time to wait patiently to take extra good care of yourself, and to keep other things in your life stable and consistent. If you can accept that all of this is a normal and natural response to what you’ve lost, you can calm down a bit and get through the discomfort of the stress.
Take Heart
Moving through the grief process is hard in stressful activity you will feel the results physically as well s mentally and emotionally. The same goes for grieving; you will feel tired, worn out and in need of rest and refreshment for your soul and for your body. Try to notice these feelings and to honor them in yourself. Be patient and loving toward yourself or toward a loved one who is grieving. Things might seem dark and never ending, but nothing remains the same in life, including the weariness and anxiety you feel in mourning your loss. Just as your grieving involves your whole being, so will the healing come to your whole being. As your emotional state begins to stabilize again, and the immediate pain lessens, the variety of physical symptoms you’ve experienced will also begin to lessen and resolve themselves. Just as grief affects us on every level so does healing. Remember always that you are on the road to recovery.
If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.