CREMATION OPTIONS

It has been said that the process of discussing cremation and the rising cremation rate “encourage” families to select cremation services, including direct cremation.  The national cremation rate is approximately 30 percent and is projected to reach about 50 percent within the next 25 years.  This is a significant shift in public behavior. Funeral service must be prepared to serve and meet the needs of families that choose cremation.  It is not through discussion and preparation that that we encourage any form of disposition.  It has been my experience that the process of choosing disposition for a loved one’s body is a very personal and complicated one.  It is a process rooted deeply in ethnic, religious and personal beliefs and not a fad that changes with public whim.  Many people, including some funeral directors, associate the choice for cremation as a request for immediate disposition with no services, but he type of disposition selected does not dictate the type of funeral service, ceremony or celebration a family might choose.  The act of burial or cremation without taking time to pause and acknowledge the life of the deceased disturbs those of us who have dedicated our lives in honoring life and helping the bereaved.  We know the value of the services we provide-the value of ceremony, the value of viewing and the value of memorialization.  After a family chooses burial or cremation, it is up to the funeral directory to guide them through their service options.  We can encourage families to choose cremation, however by offering burial services that are not meaningful to those who attend.  National studies have found that people want to connect with friends and family at the service, and to share memories of the deceased.  They want the service to be personalized.  They want to celebrate the life lived and to reflect on the life of the person who died.  We need to suggest and help provide services that not only meet the needs of the family but also touch the attendees in the “back row.”  Those people must leave that service saying “I want that for myself.”  If they do not like what we offer, if they do not perceive value in the services they attend, then they might associate the lack of fulfillment with the act of burial.  Some will perceive that we cannot provide meaningful burial services and might think that cremation (disposition without ceremony) is their only alternative.  I also believe that a segment of our profession promotes direct cremation by advertising and focusing on minimal services and charges.  How many times in the newspapers do we see ads that read or imply “You don’t need expensive funerals” or “For just a few dollars, we can provide a simple direct-cremation”?  The perception that funerals are too expensive is a commonly held belief, and propagated by the media and many of the immediate disposition companies.  The typical funeral is about a third of the coast of the typical wedding, yet I cannot remember ever seeing an ad or an article about the high cost of weddings.  People see value in the wedding ceremony, and we need to educate the public to recognize the value of the funeral or memorial.  Some funeral providers promote such low prices that even minimal funeral directing to help families is impossible to provide.  The promotion of these minimal services announces to the public that what we do as funeral directors and the valuable services we provide are not important and are overprices.  If our services are not seen as valuable, then what we do is reduced to a commodity.  When one shops for a commodity, price is the most important factor.  The majority of us, and the families served by caring funeral directors, however know the importance of the services we provide.  Grieving families make important decisions that can affect them for the rest of their lives, and they need the counsel of a trusted professional.  Even while providing meaningful burial services and educating the public about the value of ceremony, families will continue to increasingly select cremation.  Some will choose not to view the body or even arrange for a ceremony or reception.  In 25 years every other family you meet with will decide to cremate.  Families that make this decision require the same care and options as those who choose burial.  The services and products we provide must be specifically designed to meet their special needs, regardless of the form of disposition.  They might not have a casket to bury but they will need a place.  They might not choose to view but they will need a positive memory picture and closure. They might not belong to a church or fraternal organization but they will need support from friends and family.  They might think they can do it by themselves but they will need a caring funeral director to help them.  As I have stated before, no one can do what we do better than us long as we are willing to listen to the needs of those we serve.

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