Cremation and The Life Of A Celebrant
When a love one dies, family and friends want a personalized service that pays tribute to the qualities that made the person special to them. To meet this need, especially for families who have no church relationship, a growing option is the use of funeral celebrants, lay people who are trained and certified to meet with families, learn about the deceased person and plan a service that is unique to the person and family. With at least 50 percent of the population unchurched, more funeral homes are expanding their range of services to include celebrants. “The expectation is a funeral always involves a church and a clergyman,” said Scott Mueller, president of Mueller Mortuary, White Beat, Minn. “Many times a family reluctantly chooses clergy because they didn’t know there was another option. The celebrant approach provides the consumer with a more positive experience,” Mueller said. After an article was published in a newspaper about Mueller’s availability as a celebrant, he received a contact from two adult children of a man who was near death. Together they planned a service with four speakers and a video tribute. Mueller told the children, “The success of the service will be measured by the number of times people say to you, “wow, that’s just the kind of service I’d like to have. “The children reported they received numerous positive comments. To meet the needs of each family, Mueller explained that celebrants must be willing to consider a range of options, from traditional to very nontraditional. His first celebrant service marked the death of a 62 year old poker playing buddy. The family chose to have a service without the body present and to use photos and mementos of his life. The room was set up with a poker table in the middle and wine was served, giving the occasion the feeling of a reception. “People stayed longer and reminisced. It was much more social,” he said. Jason Benton a funeral director and embalmer at Brunswick Funeral Home in Shallotte, N. C. , learned about celebrants after being pressed into leading a graveside service. After that he began leading more services for families with no local minister. He decided to attend a celebrant training class in 2002, and he estimates that he has since led at least 25 services as a celebrant. One of the first families he served had tentatively decided on cremation with no funeral but later chose to use Benton to help them plan a service. “It turned out to be one of the largest memorial services we’ve had,” said Benton. Wendy Story, president of Beers and Story Funeral Homes in Palmer, Belchertown and South Hadley , Mass. , is a second generation funeral director who also has completed celebrant training. The other three funeral directors at the firm, including Story’s husband and daughter, also are certified celebrants. “Even when a family is going to a church for the service, I offer the celebrant option at the end of calling hours,” Story said. Story’s celebrant services often include rituals such as a candle ceremony where family members each light a candle to symbolize the life of their loved one. For one particular service, Story discovered that the deceased had loved chocolate. She talked about that during the service before inviting family members to place chocolate kisses around the urn. “People want more than just the options of the past,” Story said. However, she warned against assuming what a family wants. “Funeral directors need to look at their families and determine how best to meet their changing needs. ” Ralph Plumley of Wilmington, Del. , has been a bereavement coordinator for Doherty Funeral Homes for 13 years. An ordained minister, Plumley has led approximately 20 services since completing his celebrant training in 2003. “Most families know when and where they want the service and who they want to perform it, and that’s great,” he said. “But if no service is mentioned, the directors offer my services. “Plumley prefers meeting with families face-to-face rather than talking by phone. After leading a celebrant service for one family, a member asked Plumley if he could perform a wedding. He gladly did so. “Being a celebrant adds a whole new dimension to my relationship with the families,” Plumley said. In addition to serving as a celebrant, Plumley’s role as bereavement coordinator includes providing discussions for children and teens before visitation and the funeral. He also maintains contact after the funeral. In addition he visits middle schools, talking with young people about grief and loss. He also distributes a brochure about dealing with grief after the loss of a pet. Mueller see major changes on the horizon for the funeral industry and believes those who fail to master the art of personalizing services may not stay in business, “if they are open to the change coming, they should warmly and immediately embrace the celebrant concept.”
If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.