Cremation and A Serenity Prayer For Grievers
The serenity prayer a simple prayer of uncertain origins has long been a source of strength and guidance for people from all walks of life, particularly those troubled by addiction.The prayer captures the delicate balance we all face as we engage life and its challenges while accepting our limitations: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Working Your Way Through
Following my father’s death these were days when it was hard to know whether I was feeling sorry for myself or plodding through the quicksand of grief as best I could.There were days I longed for someone to tell me how to get through the grief.But when someone would suggest it was time I “move along” I wondered why they didn’t understand that I just needed time to grieve.One of the most difficult aspects of my grief was finding the balance between pushing myself to go on with life’s activities and allowing myself to rest and postpone activities or decisions when needed.What I needed was a sort of Serenity Prayer for grievers.The prayer you find in large type in the center of this carenote is meant to be just that.It is offered with the hope that it can bring strength as you seek support from others and from god, while also paying attention to your own responsibility to be a part of your healing.It is really three prayers in one.Each one is a step in the process of healing from grief.
God Grant Me The Strength To Keep Moving When I Can
In so many aspects of your life following the death of a loved one, you will face the questions about moving through the journey of grief.When is it time to go back to work?When is it time to give away many of her belongings?When is it time to start socializing?When will I stop sleeping so much?When will I stop crying?You may wonder when you will feel the energy to cook again or exercise again or make new friends.In reality there are times when we should not push ourselves too hard and then times when we need to ourselves to take the steps that will lead to our healing.Your prayer to god for strength to keep moving signals your hope that you will find your way through your days of pain.One of the risks of grief is that your pain may feel so great you can’t bear to go out with friends or return to a normal work routine.Many fear that if they let go of the pain they will let go of their final link to their loved one.While in the midst of grieving your goal should always be movement toward new ways of living and feeling that once again make you happy.Asking god in your prayer to grant you strength to keep moving includes even the simple things-going to the grocery store, preparing a meal, or having the car repaired when it would be easier to rely on your neighbor.Early in grief to keep moving may be as basic as getting up in the morning rather than lying in bed in a mood of despair.Your prayer is a reminder of your own responsibility in your healing process to nurture and care for yourself, to seek courage to believe in yourself and to seek the strength to rise up and walk into life again.There is some wisdom in the old adage that god helps those who help themselves.Sometimes a lack of willingness to begin participating in life’s activities can result from a growing fear of establishing a new life or routine for yourself without your loved one.Try not to allow an ongoing sense that you are not finished grieving yet to shelter you from the change and challenges or from the possibilities, growth and new relationships that will bring you comfort and healing.Even while grieving ask god to help you ease back into life.”God grant me the strength to keep moving when I can, the grace to rest when I need to, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
God Grant Me The Grace To Rest When I Need To
The other risk during a time of grief is that we can so deeply want to move beyond the pain that we throw ourselves into constant activity saying yes to any invitation to go out, turning down any offers for help, working long hours, or pouring our energy into some harmful addiction-all in an attempt to either hide the pain or keep friends from worrying.In the midst of frantic business, grievers can lose the insight to know when their bodies and spirits are tired and need to rest.In this prayer your invitation for god to offer you grace is a reminder to yourself that you can take time and set your own pace for your grief.Grace for you is time to make decisions, time to cry and to remember and time to rest and allow your body and spirit to heal.Rest takes different forms for different people-from a walk in the park to an afternoon nap to a visit to the beach.Explore and learn what helps you feel rested.Grace is the gift of a restful reprieve where you can lower your expectations of yourself and simply wait.Wait for the darkest hour of the night to pass.Wait for a ray of light to break through-a new day for hope, healing and being able to once again get moving.
God Grant Me The Wisdom To Know The Difference
When delicate questions begin to arise about whether you might be pushing yourself too hard to move through your grief or not pushing yourself hard enough, the wisdom to know the difference is an important aspect of your healing.I believe finding the wisdom to balance out choices comes from listening-to our self, to trusted others, and to god.Trust your own wisdom to help you know how to pace yourself during grief.If you begin asking yourself, “am I trying to do too much quickly?”Then your own inner wisdom might be trying to find a voice.If you wonder, “have I been sleeping (or eating or drinking) too much for too long?Then once again your inner wisdom may be reaching out to help you.During grief wisdom also comes from others we trust, particularly ones who have grieved themselves.Seek out a friend or colleague who has walked the path of grief you now walk, and ask them to listen.If it feels difficult to ask a friend to do this call a bereavement counselor, chaplain or pastor in your area and ask them if they know someone who can be a supportive peer.In many communities there are peer support groups and a network of resources for persons who are grieving.Don’t try to do it alone.With a trusted friend who has grieved you can ask, “Do I need to sell the house this quickly?”With a peer who understands can hear them urge you to begin to move on when the time is right.Our own soul also has a way of confronting us either when we become too lethargic or when we drown ourselves in activity.Nurturing your faith and staying in touch with yourself and god through prayer is one way of allowing the voice of your soul to break through and bring you wisdom for your way to healing.The psalms of scripture offer many words written by those in the depths of grief.They cry out for the wisdom of god and then feeling alone no longer take one more step back into an active engaged life.
Take Heart
Reflecting on his own father’s death author Frederick Buechner writes in his book listening to your life, “I can speak with some assurance only of how god was present in that dark time for me in the sense that I was not destroyed by it but came out of it with scars that I hear to this day to be sure but also somehow the wiser and the stronger for it….I learned something about how even tragedy can be a means of grace that I might never have come to any other way.”Grief is a journey with many winding turns and detours.But it’s a journey of grace if we trust our inner wisdom, the wisdom of others and the courage that our faith can instill in us.
If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.