Cremation And A View From The Pulpit What One Pastor Looks For When Recommending Cremation Services
A generation ago most people use the same funeral home their parents used, and their grandparents used before them.Given today’s mobile society, however families no longer feel tied to those long-standing roots and often feel unsure of where to turn following the death of a loved one.Church members and members of the community at large, often turn to the clergy for advice on which funeral home to use.As a pastor with more than 32 years of experience serving churches in Texas, Oklahoma, Hawaii and Georgia.I have encountered this question numerous times.Ontwo occasions, I experienced the loss of a family member in an unfamiliar place and had to rely on a local pastor for advice and help concerning which funeral home to use.Following the death of my father, the service rendered was very poor, but after the loss of my son, the funeral home and funeral director with whom I worked will always stand out in my mind as among the best I ever had the privilege of meeting.Similar to most clergy members, I get to know many of the funeral homes and funeral directors in my area very well as I serve my congregation.Because of this a clergy member can begin to understand the strengths and weaknesses of each, know what to anticipate from various firms, and what to recommend to a family when that service is required.This article offers some of the things I look for when helping a family select a funeral home.
People First, Products Second
In a skeptical society many people are concerned about being taken advantage of during their time of loss.Having worked with many great funeral homes and many wonderful funeral directors, i know this is rarely the case, but it is important for a funeral director or a firm’s staff to help a family understand what is offered, without pushing them into a direction they really do not want to go.
Live Up To Your Title
The decision-making process concerning caskets, service times, order or service, and any number of details can seem overwhelming in the middle of grief.In one case early in my ministry, I remember a funeral directorwho very compassionately tried to help a grieving family understand that the deceased would not have to live with his or her decisions or the cost of them-but the living family would.He very carefully guided them as they chose a funeral that would be reasonable for them yet tasteful at the same time.He did not overpower them with expensive choices, but he did not leave them with a “blank page,” forcing them to decide for themselves.He lived up to his title and directed the family to make wise choices.
One Team With One Goal
When a funeral director and his or her staff work with a clergy member as a team, the grieving family receives better care.Throughout my many years of conducting funerals, it has also been very important for me to consider how a funeral director and his or her firm related to me and to other pastors.If that firm and its funeral directors consider the minister as part of a team caring for a family and provide information upfront about services and meetings with the family, and provide information upfront about services and meetings with the family, as well as obituary materials, then they will find themselves at the top of many a pastor’s list.
Options And Resources
It is also important for a funeral home to consider the service options available to a family.If the family in need is local and has a church, then they might have friends or music-staff that can assist them with the service planning.If the family is from out of town, however it is important to have a variety of music and other resources to call upon that can offer the encouragement and support that family needs for the service.This might include scripture reading, graveside service, escorts and many other options.As a minister, I usually look for a funeral home that provides clear options and assistance with these types of details.
Dealing With Denominational Differences
Another important part of my recommendation is based upon how a funeral home and its funeral directors provide aftercare or pastoral assistance.If a family has just moved to the community, or does not attend a local church, they might not know to who to turn in the event of a death.I have found throughout the years that it is very important for a funeral home to have several clergy members of various denominations upon who it can call to serve the needs of those families.This demonstrates a level of caring for a family just a bit above the norm, and it also provides a third party from a trusted profession to aid in planning, as well as someone qualified to deal with grief.At the same time it demonstrates a good relationship between the funeral home and its local clergy.
Accommodating The Inconvenient
Scheduling services, interments, processions and other details can prove challenging, but I always appreciated a funeral director that did his or her best to accommodate the family’s schedule rather than worry too much about their own.As a pastor it was always painfully obvious when they worried too much about their schedules and not enough about the families. For example when my father died he was to be buried at a national cemetery for veterans and active duty military personnel, but the cemetery staff determined when the grave would be opened and used.Unfortunately the cemetery only offered a time early in the morning for a private burial.With few options our family decided to hold a private burial and then return to the church for a public memorial service.The funeral home staff was really not interested in meeting that schedule, however and we almost had to fight to get them to do as we wished, even though we had no control over the federal government or its regulations concerning burial.While it is true that there are only so many hours in a day and so many employees to go around, it is important to do all that you can to meet a family’s needs, even if inconvenient.Remember death is the supreme inconvenience.Clergy members with experience know when a funeral home and/or a funeral director are taking the appropriate measures to fully care for a family by accommodating its scheduling wishes.
Many Faiths, Many Traditions
Today we live in an increasingly pluralistic society with many religious traditions.While I am Christian, I am also aware that many in my community come from various religions and faiths.These people are neighbors, shopkeepers in the community, students at local schools, and acquaintances.If they approach me on the use of a funeral home, it is important for me to know if a funeral director or a funeral home has any knowledge about the customs and tenets of his or her particular faith.Anticipating and serving the needs of the families in their care is the sign of a funeral home and funeral director that provide a professional touch to their service, which clergy members notice.Does the funeral home provide small extras, such as preplanning assistance, food, guest registers, a directory of florist and other important details, without forcing a family to ask?Every funeral is important to the family involved and as such, I generally look for a funeral home that offers a professional approach to the services provided and the flexibility to meet the needs of each family it encounters.
If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.