Getting Ready for the Funeral - Cremation and Cosmetics
Cremation Options considers this: the telephone rings. The woman on the other end informs you that there has been a death in the family and she would like your firm to handle the funeral arrangements. You offer her your sincerest condolences. You thank her for placing her trust in you, take some pertinent first call information and set up an appointment. Then you assure her that you will do everything in your power to see that placing her trust in you was the best decision she could possibly make. The daunting task of living up to your assurances begin.
As funeral practitioners we all know what this entails, so I won’t get into details, but I will says with absolute certainty, the moment of truth arrives when you greet that family and escort them into the reposing room. I have been a licensed funeral director in the State of New York for over 32 years, but I learned a most valuable lesson in my rookie season. We received a death call in the middle of the night and met the family in the morning. The deceased was a 53 year‐old woman who had succumbed to lung cancer, which had metastasized to her liver. The daughter was extremely distraught when the rest of the family made her decision to view the remains in an open casket. “How could you! My mother was the most beautiful woman in the world. We can’t let anyone see her like that. We can’t she said. But the director explained to her that if she was not satisfied with the results that they would simply close the casket. The next day I met the family for the first viewing. I could see how apprehensive the daughter was. I took her by the hand and we walked up to the casket. She gazed down at her mother. “Oh my god,” she screamed. In most cases we might wonder why she screamed, was she horrified or what? But I knew the answer. I looked at her face and saw the gigantic tears running down her checks, but she had a wondrous smile. “Johnny, look at how beautiful mommy is.” I took my sister in my arms and hugged her.
It’s been over 30 years since I walked into that chapel with my sister and not a single day has gone by that I haven’t thought of her. It is that final lasting impression of my sister’s tears of joy that has driven me over the years to elicit the same response from each and every one of the families who entrust their loved ones with us. There are many factors to take into consideration when talking about cosmetics and I will get into some of those. But I would be remiss if I did not touch on a subject that is the first step in creating an aesthetically pleasing, life like appearance of human remains. Embalming the simple most important job performed in any mortuary. This is when it all starts.
Rarely have I ever seen a poorly embalmed body look better just from the application of cosmetics. Every artist needs something to work on. Our medium is both a sculpture and a canvas. First we sculpt the features of the face then we paint on them. This is where the cosmetologist is going to perform his or her artistry. We have to start out with the best sculpture and canvas to work on, and it’s the embalmers responsibility to supply us with one. I was taught that in the art of embalming that there are pre‐and post‐embalming techniques.
Over the years far too many embalmers have gotten them juxtaposed. Shaving (woman included since cosmetics are hard to apply and do not look good on peach fuzz) and the setting of the facial features are pre‐embalming techniques. There is no reason to raise an artery and begin injecting a body before you set the features when you should be worrying about drainage and fluid distribution.
How can you worry about those things if you have to shave the body, close the eyes and mouth at the same time? Take your time; use all of your knowledge, skill and resources. Remember it might be you escorting that family member into the chapel. How do you want them to react when they get up to the casket? Ladies and gentlemen, that’s what they call a “no brainer.” Post‐embalming techniques are just as important as pre‐embalming techniques.
Over 75 percent of the cases you will prepare require some degree of hypodermic subcutaneous feature building. Most of the time it will only be necessary to inject a few ccs of feature builder to the temporal areas and behind the eyes to get the desired effects, which is simple enough. In cases of extreme emaciation, a great deal of work is called for. The zygomatic arches, jaw line, above the eyebrows, the bridge of the nose, the neck line, under the chin, even the hands, are places which I would consider injecting. Remember anything that you can do to contribute to the final product is a tremendous help to the cosmetician.
Choosing a foundation color; this is the easy part. Or is it? You’ve asked the family to bring in a picture of the deceased and they bring you a wedding photo taken 40 years earlier. What help is that? You can do everyone a favor by asking the family at the time of the first call, that when they come in to make the funeral arrangements, they bring with the burial clothes as many photos as possible of the deceased. Every family that I have ever asked has been more than happy to oblige. The more photos, the easier it is to choose the right color. If this is not possible, your knowledge of the person’s ethnic background is a good indicator of their correct skin tone. Lighting: When we enter a reposing room for the purpose of cosmetic application, the first thing that we should concern ourselves with is the lighting. I strongly recommend applying cosmetics in the room where the body is going to be viewed. Any difference in the type (natural or artificial) or intensity of the light is going to make a huge difference. Be sure to get the desired results by making up the body in the exact light the remains are going to be viewed under. Also watch out for the night man or doorman because they love to turn on the lights to high.
The difference could be night or day. When viewing the body in more than one location, such as the funeral home and a church, most of the time, we are aware of the change in the lighting. I will never forget the first time I took a body that looked perfect in the funeral home and placed it on the altar in a brand new church under the biggest skylight on the sunniest day of the year. I cringed in horror. You may consider taking a small cosmetic bag with you to the church in order to make any necessary adjustments. The smaller the bag, the less likely the family or anyone else close by will notice. If you have co‐workers or some pallbearers with you as you are setting up the body for the viewing, have them gather around to shield any onlookers from seeing what you are doing.
Cosmetic application: If you want to learn how to apply cosmetics, and this is not part of your daily routine for yourself, you may want to spend some time with someone who does a sister, mother or a girlfriend. It might sound stupid but believe me this can be quite educational. What makes the applications of cosmetics more difficult are some of the more extreme morbid conditions we might encounter. For example trauma, severe emaciation, tumors and our worst nightmare, jaundice. And for all of you who choose to shave a body during or after arterial injection, razor burns can also cause problems. These conditions will require a greater deal of expertise and knowledge of what kinds and types of cosmetics to use. To apply cosmetics I prefer using a medium stiff bristled brush. For the times when a surface restoration wax is used and cosmetics are applied with a brush, I freeze the wax with a can of compressed air held upside down; this procedure hardens the wax and makes it easier to apply. It also reduces the making of the wax by the brush marks will be nil. I have shown this technique to a great deal of people and they never cease to be amazed by it. Don’t forget to stipple the wax before you freeze it. If you like to smooth out the lips with a wax as I do, you will find this idea very useful.
There are five kinds of cosmetics in use in today’s mortuaries:
1. OIL BASED: These cosmetics up until the past 10 years or so, were the most popular. They provide good coverage but when applied heavily they tend to make the body look made up. How many times have we heard a family say, “don’t use a lot of makeup.”
2. LIQUID: These cosmetics work extremely well with your easiest cases but rarely are your cases that easy. Be careful when you use liquid cosmetics, though because they have a tendency to splash. You don’t want little dots of pink all over your pillow and interior.
3. AIRBRUSHED: These cosmetics afford the greatest degree of coverage possible. They also come in a wide selection of foundation colors and they can be applied as lightly or as heavily as needed. Highlighting is also an easy task with an airbrush. The cleanup is simple. It just takes a little more practice to become proficient at and it applies very easily to wax.
4. CREAM BASED: The advancements that the embalming fluid companies have made in fluids in the past 30 years is phenomenal. The results that we are able to achieve usually do not warrant the use of a heavy covering. I have noticed that many cosmetologists and funeral practitioners go to the local drug store to buy their cosmetics because they look a lot more natural, and the foundations come in a greater range of shades that are\ more likely to reflect the ethnicity of your business. The more diverse your business, the more shades you are going to need.
5. ARTERIAL DYES: I can remember one case I had 30 years ago. The man had been pronounced dead on a bus that was directly in front of the funeral home. I was injecting that body only 20 minutes after death. Rigor mortis was nowhere near beginning. The fluid distribution that was accomplished, I have never seen since. With all the red tape there is today before you get a case on the embalming table, the post mortem changes in the body make complete fluid distribution that much more difficult and mottling more likely. In cases of severe staining or jaundice, I always use a dye. I will take any help I can get. Biohazard Safety: This should always be taken into consideration when applying cosmetics. Areas where you are going to place cosmetics (this includes the hair as well) should be sterile as possible, not only to protect yourself but the family and public as well. You may want to use latex or vinyl gloves when applying cosmetics as well. When I walk through a reposing room, a chapel or a church it gives me tremendous satisfaction to hear mourners say to me, “I can’t believe it…he looks terrific,” or even “it’s a miracle” or simply “thank you.” Cosmetics choice and application can do that for you and your business. When a family you have served, and served well, experiences another death, you greatly increase the chance they will call upon your firm again. Isn’t that the idea?
Need more information about preparation of the body for funerals? Contact the caring professionals at Cremation Options at 1-877-989-9090 today.