CREMATION OPTIONS

Recently after an uncle’s funeral, I strode along a ridge among the graves of my ancestors. Many of my great aunts and uncles, my grandparents and close friends of the family are buried in the same section of a cemetery in Chicago. Lately I’d been thinking that burial plots were a waste of good ground and that I didn’t really care what happened to me when I died-the less fuss the better. But as I walked among my people I felt something I’ve never felt so strongly before-my connection to them, and their connection to the future through me. I came to appreciate the rituals and traditions that surround the funerals in our family, and I began to think of how I might want my passing to be marked. I realized these “last rites” could matter greatly to me and they were worth my time and thought. Yet many of us are not quite sure how to proceed.

WORKING YOUR WAY THROUGH

Making funeral arrangements has a lot in common with preparing for a baptism, bar mitzvah, wedding, or significant anniversary. Like these other milestones, a person’s passing is a major event in the lives of loved ones. But because the details surrounding a death occur at a time of tremendous stress, it makes sense to make as many arrangements in advance as you can. The better you plan, the less likely the stress of the moment and the crush of details-not to mention the shock of your loss-will overwhelm you and the occasion will turn out as you hope. Many people would rather not think about death and funeral arrangements. But there are strong emotional, social and financial reasons to make funeral arrangements in advance. Here are a few suggestions.

EXPLORE ALL YOUR OPTIONS

Though every culture has its traditional set of funeral rituals, cremation rites and practices no two funerals are exactly alike. Nor should they be. Funeral rites ought to reflect the life and values o the individual who has died, and the survivors he or she has left behind. By acting in advance you can think through the available choices to find the options that are right for you. Will you choose interment, cremation, or entombment in a mausoleum? Are there special visitation arrangements that need to be accommodated? Will you have a religious service and if so who will officiate? If you act in advance you can have many of your questions answered. You can read and research, inquire with friends as well as funeral professionals, and challenge assumptions you may have. Many people carry around erroneous notions about what is and isn’t allowed at funerals. When making advance funeral arrangements-for yourself or a loved one for whom you’re responsible-you’ll be called upon to make many significant decisions, But you cannot exercise choice wisely if you don’t know what your options are. By acting in advance of need, you’re in the best position to examine questions in depth, give them significant thought, consult with others whose feelings you need to consider, and come to decisions with which you can be satisfied.

HAVE IT YOUR WAY

Would you like a certain song sung at the funeral, or a meaningful poem or scripture passage read? Will you want to be buried in the town where you now live, or buried near loved ones in your home town? How much do you want to spend on a casket? Do you want a longtime friend or family member to give a eulogy? The list goes on. Funerals are for the living and in memory of the deceased. Funerals are not for the edification of the preacher, the exclusive domain of the funeral director or to fulfill someone else’s idea of decorum and appropriateness. If you want a specific thing to happen at your funeral the only way to be sure it will happen is to make your wishes clear in advance best of all, in writing. Arrange it now. You can always change it later.

ENLIST THE HELP OF A PROFESSIONAL PARTNER

A good first step is to talk with a funeral director you trust. If you don’t have a family funeral director, spend some time selecting one who’s right for you. Funeral directors say the number one service they offer is active listening to help the bereaved make decisions that are appropriate for them. What you’re looking for is someone who will truly listen and respond to your needs and wishes. You might begin by making a list of three funeral directors and interviewing each by phone. After a follow-up visit with the one(s) you feel most comfortable with, choose the one who is the most open and instills the most confidence in you. Turn to someone who will listen first advise second. A good funeral director can handle a myriad of paperwork, mountains of official forms, and an array of details-all as you would have them handled. When a loved one dies, the survivors are bound to be very vulnerable. Emotions will run strong, and handling even the simplest details can be an enormous challenge. At such a time, a professional partner who can handle the arrangements according to your wishes will free up survivors to enter into the grieving process. A competent and caring funeral director can carry out your hopes and desires for the funeral ceremonies and do so with respect, dignity and within your means. There are a number of details you may want to review in advance with a funeral director: what’s on your grave marker, whether you want to indicate a charity as a recipient of memorial donations; who you’d like to have as pall bearers: whether to have a ceremony in a church, at the graveside, or in the home of a friend weeks after your death. You can even indicate what you would like mentioned in your obituary.

KEEP COSTS REASONABLE AND CLEAR

Society puts a cloak of silence around death, so many of us are uninformed about the arrangements that need to be made at the time of death. When making funeral arrangements, it’s essential that you leave no question unasked or unanswered. It’s important to find the right balance between providing the appropriate kind of sendoff and keeping costs within the limits you can afford. Set up a fact-finding appointment with your funeral director, cemetery director or other service provider. Ask to have a cost sheet sent in advance so you can prepare your questions. Funeral professionals provide a service and should be paid for that service. But those paying for that service should know in advance what services are being provided, what the full costs are, and what other options are available. Feel free to ask for additional options on caskets, embalming, and other services. Question charges you don’t understand. If after the explanation you remain uncertain, call another funeral
director or your state’s funeral directors’ association to verify that the charge is appropriate. Practically speaking attending to a loved one’s funeral arrangements in advance may find you in a better situation to handle the finances. This is especially true if the loved one may be heading to a nursing home where the cost of care may totally deplete family savings, leaving little or nothing with which to pay for the funeral.

SAVE YOUR SURVIVORS ADDED BURDENS

My father worked for Catholic cemeteries in Chicago for 42 years. He began his career in sales. He was responsible for setting up a pre- need sales program in the early 1950’s. Often when he would arrive at a home to discuss advance funeral arrangements, people would be reluctant to even think about the day such arrangements would be needed. Through the years however countless family members have come up to my father thanking him for the time and effort he took with their family years before. In their time of mourning details were already in place and decisions already made. They were grateful that when the hour had arrived they were found prepared.

TAKE HEART

Anyone who has suddenly been responsible for handling the details of a death where no pre- arrangements have been made knows the overwhelming number of decisions that are involved. At a time of loss, confusion reigns. We can feel pulled in many directions at once, especially if we’re uncertain what the deceased would have wanted. Making your funeral arrangements in advance is one last wonderful gift you can give the love ones who will be left behind. By freeing them from the burden of many details, you give them time to do the work of grieving and caring for one another. Meanwhile, the rites surrounding your funeral can be a statement of your values and the meaning you found in life and death.

Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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Often our world comes to an end when we realize that our loved one has departed. The more we long for comfort, the harder it is to find. In this situation, Cremation jewelry offers the comfort that cannot be found anywhere else. A memoir or a keepsake is often the best way to have a concrete remembrance of the departed soul. Whenever the bereaved feel or extreme loneliness surpasses your emotions, you can hold the memoir close to your heart. You can feel the eternal presence of your loved ones.

Though it is not possible to breathe new life into some one who has passed away, carrying a piece of that person with you everyday brings the much needed solace. Urn jewelry hung close to one’s heart eases a lot of pain and brings some peace to a grief-stricken person. Besides, it is also helpful in finding the path to closure for moving ahead after a loss. Wearing the jewelry also allows you to treasure those precious moments that you once shared with a loved one. Cremation urn jewelry enables you to keep loved ones close to your heart both physically and spiritually.

Cremation urn jewelry following cremation services is a kind of keepsake jewelry that allows you to hold a small part of the remains of your loved one. Generally, a small compartment is filled with the ashes of some one who has departed. The ashes can be stored in a sealed compartment of the jewelry. It is a physical reminder that can be carried as a beautiful commemorative piece.

Cremation urn jewelry offers you an alternative to honor the life of your deceased loved ones. Moreover, you can keep the jewelry close to you or display the remains in an attractive container. This new jewelry has been increasingly popular among those who have experienced a loss. It comes in different varieties from pendants, bracelets, rings and pins. They are as stylish as any other jewelry pendant. However, the most popular and meaningful design is an urn pendant.

In contrast to the regular cremation urns, the jewelry can be kept private and concealed without anyone knowing what it is. Find a design that corresponds to the true nature of your loved ones. Gold and silver urn pendants are available in different themes, from personally significant or modern designs to sea creatures. Cremation urn jewelry is available in different materials such as brass, pewter, and various precious gems incorporated on them.

Cremation urn jewelry enables you to pay tribute to your loved ones. It is a constant reminder of his/her significance in your life.

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Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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Cremation jewelry was designed as a miniature cremation urn with a hollow chamber to hold a bit of ashes from a loved one’s cremation. The original idea was to allow one or more family members to keep a physical part of their loved one close at heart, regardless of how the rest of the cremated remains would be disposed of or how many family members wanted to share the ashes. The ash pendant could then be worn as an urn pendant or displayed beneath a jeweler’s glass dome to create a personal memorial.

For any number of reasons, however, jewelry for ashes doesn’t appeal to some people. Some are opposed to cremation in general, while others just don’t like the idea of reserving cremated remains in the form of jewelry. Perhaps you belong to a church that prohibits the practice of cremation, or maybe your religion has strict rules about the disposition of ashes. Even so, cremation jewelry still affords an opportunity to honor your loved one in a unique and personal way.

Cremation jewelry isn’t just jewelry for ashes. The hollow chamber in every urn pendant can accommodate any small keepsake to remind you of your loved one. Following are some of the mementoes people choose to save in their cremation necklaces.

A Lock of Hair
A lock of a loved one’s hair is a special keepsake indeed. If you’re a parent, you may have kept a snip of hair from your child’s first haircut to remind you of the tiny baby you once held in your arms. And lovers throughout history have kept wisps of each other’s hair to help them feel close when they were apart. The hair of fallen soldiers was fashioned into the memorial jewelry that was popular during the Civil War. Place a lock of your loved one’s hair in your urn pendant for safekeeping.

Soil
The time-honored practice of “paying respects” to a deceased loved one with regular visits to his or her grave is less common today, as fewer and fewer family members are centrally located in the home town. Whether you live near your loved one’s burial place or far away, you can use your cremation jewelry to save a few grains of earth from the grave site.

Funeral Flowers
The outpouring of sympathy following the death of a loved one often includes floral gifts in a variety of colors, species, and arrangements. Flowers are a fragrant reminder of the nature of life - rich, beautiful, and fleeting. By drying some of the flowers after the funeral, you can preserve their colorful beauty. Once the flowers are dry, you can crumble a pinch of the petals into the chamber of your cremation keepsake pendant.

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Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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BE SURE YOUR FAMILY RECEIVES THE BENEFITS YOU’VE EARNED

Most of us plan for the years when we no longer need to, want to, or cannot work.  It is a necessity we cannot afford to ignore.  The federal and state governments have programs such as Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid to which we all contribute while working.  Being informed as to what we have earned and making sure we receive these important benefits is part of “Being Prepared.“ There are other important aspects to being prepared, such as preparing a Will and making funeral arrangements.

WHERE TO START

Knowing where to start can help make planning easier.  Although this brochure cannot answer all of your questions, it will highlight the main steps for you. We find once families know what to do, planning is not difficult.  As funeral directors, we are able to assist with the details and answer questions you may have about government death benefits and funeral planning.  No matter what you decide to do first, it’s important to start now, today.

WHY YOU SHOULD PLAN

We plan for every aspect of life. Having a family, vacations, weddings, and retirement are all things we plan. We prepare for what might happen such as fires, accidents or floods.  But, because most of us do not like to think about death- we avoid making important funeral decisions in advance. Now more than ever, it is important to plan ahead. Our way of life is more complicated. Family members often live in different states, dealing with government agencies can be frustrating, and every household feels the impact of inflation.

Family members making funeral arrangements immediately following a death often are confused and upset. Many times, they do not have the information needed to claim benefits. Each year millions of dollars in government and insurance benefits go unclaimed.  Planning ahead prevents emotional overspending and protects your
family’s interests.

FOUR  GOOD  REASONS  FOR  MAKING  FUNERAL  ARRANGEMENTS  IN  ADVANCE

1.  Your Family

Without a doubt the most important reason for making funeral and other estate arrangements in advance is to spare your family this task at a difficult time.  There are over 50 decisions to be made when arranging a funeral.  Making these decisions today, with the help of those close to you, lets you make logical, well thought out plans that your family will appreciate.

2.  Lower Costs

Though not a requirement, you may wish to invest in a funeral trust account or final expense insurance policy when making funeral arrangements. While most of us have life insurance or funds reserved for retirement, these are intended for the living, not to meet the cost of a funeral.

In most situations, funds invested today will be sufficient to cover the total cost of the funeral at time of need. The interest earned by the account or policy will help to offset the effects of inflation. Government regulations safeguard your investment so that funds will always be available for your family’s use.

3.  Securing Benefits

With the number of revisions in government benefits over the years, it is important for each person to be aware of these changes and how to protect those benefits.

• Social Security Upon death, dependents and survivors may be eligible for certain benefits such as Death Payments, Survivor’s Benefits and Medicare. Qualifications depend on age, marital status, number of dependents involved and if employment was under Social Security.  Your Social Security account should be  verified periodically to be sure contributions are properly posted.  All benefits must be applied for; payment is not automatic. Since qualifications vary, we recommend discussing your particular situation with us personally.
• Veteran’s Benefits There are many misconceptions regarding Veterans’ death benefits.  Honorably discharged veterans may qualify for cemetery plot and burial allowances, headstone, and burial flag, as well as a pension for survivors. These benefits may affect decisions about funeral  arrangements. Because qualifications and benefits vary, we recommend a personal review of your situation.
• Medicaid Few people are aware of provisions under Federal Title 19 where an individual can shelter funds to serve the family later by providing for funeral arrangements. We can explain these options to you.

4.  Peace Of Mind

We often have special wishes as to where to be buried, who is to receive our personal effects, and how we are to be memorialized.  Making funeral arrangements today permits time for you to tend to every detail. You gain the confidence that results from making unhurried, informed decisions. Plus, your family and others who care for you will be assured the arrangements reflect your true wishes.

Planning ahead…you have true peace of mind knowing you have taken care of everything.

HOW TO PLAN

Investigate

Most people are unsure how to secure benefits and to be certain everything will be carried out according to their wishes.  Often people delay making a Will because they feel they have little to leave behind.  Yet, a Will is vital to insure belongings are properly distributed and to avoid excess taxes.  A Will allows you to name an executor-someone in which you have confidence- to carry out your wishes. You should have an attorney prepare your Will to be certain legal requirements are met.

Legal procedures following death are also confusing.  For example, since a Will is most often read and administered after the funeral, the practical, safe approach is to have a separate document for funeral requests.

Arranging a funeral is involved with over 50 decisions that must be made. Decisions that are an added burden for family members when dealing with grief over the loss of a loved one.

By speaking with one of our qualified funeral planning counselors, you will have taken the most important step towards “being prepared.”

Organize

We all have documents and information which others would have trouble locating: military discharge papers, Social Security numbers, bank accounts, safety deposit box keys, insurance policies, relatives’  addresses. All of these items must be organized to eliminate frustrating hours of searching and to be certain everything will be found.  Insurance companies report that life insurance benefits are often unclaimed because survivors were unaware a policy existed.  The diary in this booklet will help you organize your personal information.  And, we can assist you in making a permanent record of your wishes.

Consider

No matter what your final wishes, planning in advance permits choices and valuable input from those closest to you. Some considerations for your funeral service are listed below. Your decisions can be recorded in the diary pages at the back of this guide.

1. Have you selected a cemetery or memorial location?
2. Have you prepaid the funeral service?
3. Are certain religious or fraternal customs to be followed?
4. Do you wish a military service?
5. Do you prefer a particular charity as a recipient of memorial gifts?
6. Do you wish to name pallbearers?
7. Do you wish to be buried in particular clothing or jewelry?
8. Are there any special readings, biblical passages, or musical selections you prefer?
9. Would you prefer a casket of metal or hardwood, protective or non-protective?
10. What type of monument or marker do you prefer?

This list is far from complete, but it gives you an idea of the many decisions involved when planning a funeral. Our services help you make the decisions right for you.

Decide

To protect your family, you will want to make some decisions and arrangements. As experienced funeral directors, we can assist you in all stages of planning, from completing paperwork to helping and counseling the bereaved.  We retain a complete record of your plans to insure they are carried out on your behalf.

A funeral trust account or final expense insurance is not a requirement of pre-arrangement, but the benefits merit serious consideration.  By deciding on funeral cost now, you help your family avoid emotional overspending and safeguard life insurance benefits.

Finally, be sure to advise your family of your decisions and the arrangements you have made. Knowing everything is taken care of will give both you and your family peace of mind.

QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE:

What If I Move?

Your funeral plans can be transferred at any time if you should move. We can even recommend a reputable funeral home in your new community. Through pre-arrangement, you can be confident your wishes will be fulfilled wherever you may live.

What If I Die Away From Home?

If you are traveling or visiting another city when death occurs, your survivors should contact our funeral home immediately.  We will make the necessary arrangements with a funeral home in that location to assist with transfer.

What If I Change My Mind?

Our funeral home is established upon service to families. We respect  your wishes at all times and work hard to meet the special needs and requests from you and your family, both when planning ahead and at time of need. Together we can develop plans to meet your current needs.

What If Your Funeral Home Would Not Be In Business?

You can be assured your funds are protected by state and federal regulations regardless of the operation at our funeral home.  However, our funeral home has a long-standing reputation and is committed to continuing to serve the many families who have placed their trust in us.

Are Funerals Expensive?

The cost of a funeral depends on what you prefer.  We offer many services to choose from and a wide selection of caskets, vaults, and other memorials. Part of “being prepared” is knowing the cost so you will feel comfortable with the selections you make.  We are willing to discuss specific cost with you. Advance planning also helps you prepare for the expense and permits you to set aside the funds over a period of time.

What Type Of Funeral Service Do Most Families Select?

Most people prefer a traditional funeral.  However, we offer many other choices to make the service meaningful to the family.  Memorial services, musical request, cremation, military and fraternal tributes are just a few of the options we make available.  We try to honor any special preferences or requests.

What About Monuments And Memorials?

Often families prefer to arrange for monuments or memorials in advance.  It is important for you to find out the differences in quality, material, and workmanship as well as cemetery requirements before the need arises.

AS YOU PREPARE FOR THE FUTURE…

The personal choices you make now, with clarity of mind and concern for others, are once in a lifetime decisions.  We want you to know that you can depend on us for the professional guidance you expect.

As funeral directors, we are trained to provide personal, specialized attention to all the responsibilities surrounding death and funeral services.  We will help you consider your options and organize your plans.

Contact Cremation Options to talk about funeral planning or with any questions you may have.

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I remember the dark night I was driving 55 mi.es an hour on the interstate and hit a patch of ice. My reflex reaction was to turn the steering wheel away from the direction in which my car was sliding. As a result I veered across the median strip narrowly escaped hitting an oncoming semitrailer and finally came to a stop after glancing off the back bumper of another car.

Since that incident I’ve learned that when driving on ice, it’s a life‐giving decision to turn into the slide rather than away from it. This lesson also applies to dealing with grief following death. Our reflex reaction is to turn away from this painful process. But the life‐giving decision is to meet grief head on‐to turn into it, rather than away from it. As William Bridges author of Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, expresses it, “the way out is the way in.”

WORKING YOUR WAY THROUGH

Bereaved people who believe the half‐truth that “time heals all wounds” often find themselves with unresolved grief years after a loss. It interferes with their ability to function productively, to engage in meaningful relationships, to live happily. It’s not enough simply to let time pass. Finding meaning in life after loss depends on what you do during your time of grief. You need to give yourself permission to grieve for as long as you need‐even in the midst of family, friends, and coworkers who may not understand, especially if they haven’t “been there.” Much important grief work is done not in activities, however but in the inactivity of what William Bridges calls the “neutral zone.” This is the time in between endings and new beginnings‐‐‐a valuable dormant time that is as necessary in our lives as rests in a score of music. This time of internal reorientation allows us to begin to shape a new identity and a perspective for how we will live our life after such a major change.

CARVE OUT TIME TO DO YOUR GRIEG WORK

One of the first questions most bereaved people ask is “how long does grief last?” There is no universal timetable for bereavement. Grief does not come in nice neat stages that you complete in a certain amount of time. Each person’s grief process is unique because his or her relationship with the deceased was unique. The length of the grief process depends largely on the survivor’s willingness to do this or her grief work. Set aside time daily or several times a week for intentional grief work. Consider using this time to look at pictures or to put together a photo album of your loved one. Play music that reminds you of the one you are missing. Watch family videotapes. Keep a journal about your feelings. Visit the gravesite and talk to your loved one. Write a series of letters to him or her or to god expressing your thoughts. These activities may bring tears. Tears are the body’s release valve for the emotions of grief, which can be physically destructive if “stuffed” inside. Tears are one of god’s healing balms.

LEARN ABOUT THE NORMAL GRIEF PROCESS

“I feel like I’m going crazy” is one of the most common statements made by people in the midst of grief. It is vital to your psychological, physical and spiritual health to understand what the “normal” grief process is since it can seem so abnormal. You may experience a roller coaster of emotions, including sadness, emptiness, relief, regret, loneliness and anxiety. You may not be able to sleep or have much of an appetite. You may feel abandoned by god. These‐and many other feelings and behaviors‐are common responses to loss. Spend time reading books and articles about the grief process. This can give you much needed reassurance, especially in the early days when you may feel like a traveler in a foreign land. Attending a support group with fellow travelers on the journey through grief can also help. Sharing you story of loss is a necessary part of the healing process and hearing others’ stories will help you realize that you are not the only one experiencing such a mixture of thoughts and emotions. Hospice programs and many religious congregations sponsor such groups. If you are feeling “stuck” in your grief seek out a mental health professional or clergyperson with knowledge of grief and loss issues. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength not weakness.

Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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