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Cremation and The Confessions Of A Small Town Funeral Director

November 17th, 2009

When I lived in a large city it would bother me when someone would declare that I “must be able to harden to all the tragedy that a funeral director sees. “I would never want that to be true of myself. In my town when tragedy strikes the community instead understands that it is difficult for me too and they are concerned for my well being. There are always baskets of goodies left at my front door by the church ladies or a hug and thanks for doing what I do. It’s the thing I rely on when so often I’m caring for people that I know. They are not potential customers or prospects; they are neighbors. This is you see the paradoxical curse and blessing of being a small town funeral director. It’s why in between deaths I can’t sit around wondering which one of them will be the next to go. I prefer instead to put it out of my mind and stay busy around our little farm on the tractor or making maple syrup in the sugar house. I stay busy trying to help out in my community and when someone needs my help I stop what I am doing and I go. It rained again this morning and it made me think about an event that happened three years ago. At that time I stood under a canopy at Pleasant View Cemetery with the hospital chaplain and the parents of a child who had died shortly after birth. They had come to say goodbye to someone they never got a chance to know. There were no memories of happier times spent together no humorous stories from her life. All they could do was say goodbye. As we stood in silence a warm spring rain began. The drops falling from the edge of the canopy made it seem to me as though the heavens too were crying. This was their first child and the grief they were experiencing was profound. Under umbrellas I helped the parents and the chaplain into their cars and they drove away. As I stood under the canopy alone waiting for the cemetery workers I tried not to but I could not help but to think about my own family. How fortunate my wife and I had been with our four children not to have experienced that kind of heartbreak. Our children had all been born healthy. Never had we gone to the crib in the morning to find one of them cold and lifeless. God willing they will live long productive lives and bring us grandchildren in our old age. As the cemetery workers drew closer I felt tears streaming down my face. Not wanting them to see I stepped out from under the canopy and turned my fact to the heavens. My tears were instantly combined with rain drops my secret safe. Now it seemed to me that the tears and the rains had gathered together in one place for one brief moment the sadness of all the families I had tried to help over the years. My friend Christopher, the hospital chaplain who stood with me that afternoon died last year. He was 38 years old. He had a seizure that revealed a brain tumor that would eventually take his life. Two nights before he died I had the privilege of sitting up with him all night, pushing the button on his morphine pump whenever it would allow. At one point he came up from his narcotic induced coma and mumbled to me, “good nurse. “Two nights later he died. Another of his friends, Dan and I carefully place Christopher on the stretcher covered him with a quilt and took him out to the van. Back at the funeral home I sacramentally bathed his tired body, trying to remove any signs of dreaded disease that had claimed him. The cancer could not harm him anymore. The next day we dressed Christopher in jeans and a t-shirt and he and I took one last ride together to the crematory the long way around. I find myself thinking I’ll bump into him at one of his favorite places, like the coffee shop or the library, places where I expect to see him still. His death tore the fabric of our community and I miss him. He was my friend. The day before his funeral two brothers , one 17 and one 12 pulled out of their driveway for a road trip to visit their mother who lived two states away. Less than a mile from their house the family dog jumped into the lap of the eldest who was driving causing him to lose control and sending the car over the embankment. His unrestrained 12 year old brother was thrown from the car, which then came to rest on top of him. He died as his older uninjured brother ran a half mile to the closest house to call for help. Jake sat quietly as his parents made funeral arrangements for his brother. When it came time to pick out a casket Jake stayed behind. After I had finished explaining the caskets to his parents while they spent time looking around I went back and sat with Jake. I told him that he was a good kid and how sorry I was. He said nothing in return. There were other things I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him that sometimes people die and it’s no one’s fault that his little brother was lucky to have someone who cared enough to want to spend time with him even though he was five years younger. But anything else I might have said was cut short by the lump welling in the back of my throat. So we just sat silently waiting for his parents to return doing our best not to cry. The car insurance paid most of the bill. I could not bring myself to press the father for the balance. The rest of the payment would come from a good night’s sleep knowing that some things in life are too horrific to demand a fee. I couldn’t add a financial burden to the tragedy of losing a son in such a manner as this. Perhaps I was just trying to be a good neighbor. Or maybe I was just trying to make myself feel better. It just seemed like the right thing to do. While I’m sure that most people find me very helpful I am not under the lofty illusion that I can somehow magically reverse the sting of grief. Sometimes I feel that the best I can do is to stand with them, guide them through several difficult days and along the way try hard not to make things worse. Recently I stopped off at the grain store on the way home from work to pick up some feed for the horse. As I entered the store I could see Jake several aisles over, stocking shelves. He looked up as I entered and without smiling quickly tipped his head up his way of saying hello. I gave the clerk my order. As I finished paying the clerk grabbed the walkie-talkie to radio my order to the yard. But before he could speak, Jake shouted “I’ve got this one. “It was the week before Christmas and quite cold outside-single digits as I remember. Jake went to the back room and found his coat, then silently joined me as I walked out to the grain yard. He went about loading the grain into my truck and as he threw the grain into my truck and as he threw in the last bag he looked up at me and with the faintest of a smile said “have a nice Christmas, Mr. Garner” “you, too Jake. ” I said “you too. “I went home and changed my clothes then went out to the barn and unloaded the grain. And as I mucked out the horse’s stall this time I cried. My best friend is a respected local physician of long standing. Sometimes when community tragedies are mounting we retreat to his hot tub and over a cold beer try to make sense of it all. He delivers the news of terminal illness to members of our close-knit community and I sit with them months later when the disease has run its course. I don’t think that we’ve ever really come up with any profound wisdom on the subject-nothing to explain away the human condition or give us some unique ability to treat it all as though in the long run it doesn’t really matter, anyway. But this much we believe; it does matter. When someone we love is taken away we will grieve and we will miss them. Living in a small community we try to help each other through life’s tragedies and we give thanks for each other. Perhaps my doctor friend and I feel fortunate that our unique perspective on the issue makes us a little more grateful for the gift of life and for the closeness of friends. And though it’s not ever easy to be front and center for this town’s illness and grief far from being a burden it is a privilege. I like to think that it in some way defines part of who we are and of how we will be remembered when we like our friend Christopher have gone.

If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.

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Cremation Center and Indianapolis Funeral Home Opens Mall Kiosk

November 5th, 2009

Cremation marketing has come a long way since the back page of the church bulletin. This summer Flanner & Buchanan Funeral Centers broke new ground by partnering with Simon Malls to showcase cremation service options in two Indianapolis -area shopping malls. “The idea germinated in the spring from a couple of staff people who just brain stormed the idea,” said Tony Lloyd, executive vice president of Flanner & Buchanan, which operates seven mortuaries and five combination operations in the greater Indianapolis area. On July 1, Flanner & Buchanan unveiled kiosks in malls in Castleton and Greenwood, showcasing the numerous service and product options available when choosing cremation. The demographic for the five-mile radius for households surrounding the Castleton mall is probably an average income of $90,000 and Greenwood would be around $80,000. The unmanned kiosk features a variety of vessels to store cremated remains including urns, clocks, jewelry and wooden boxes. “We have various items available from LifeGems to scattering and everything in between,” said Lloyd. “Mall officials embraced the idea once they understood our vision and reason for making this available. ” said Bruce Buchanan, vice president of Flanner & Buchanan. “The public has great interest in cremation but few sources for information. And the public seems to have embraced the concept as well. Lloyd reported that in the first month Flanner & Buchanan received 20 inquires, wrote four preneed contracts and did five cemetery placements of cremated remains. “In a pretty short period of time it exceeded our expectations,” said Lloyd. “There are many misperceptions about cremation, the biggest one being that it means there is no service or need for a cemetery,” said Bruce Buchanan. “The idea behind the kiosk is to begin discussions among family members about what they want for themselves when they die. We want to give people information ahead of need so they can choose what is right for them. ”

Fastest Growing Choice

“Cremation is the fastest growing service choice in the country and we have been a leader in cremation since the early 1900’s when we installed the first crematory in the state. This is just an extension of something we already provide and have for generations,” said Brian Buchanan president of Flanner & Buchanan. “We continue to build on a tradition of finding new and better ways to educate the public about their options and getting the information they need,” said Jerrit Clayton, executive vice president of Flanner & Buchanan. The kiosk will come down for the holidays, but Flanner & Buchanan plans to keep the kiosks in the malls indefinitely and may expand the idea to other malls in the area. “The potential is there for us to do that,” said Lloyd. “Simon is headquartered here and they own the five major mall locations in the metropolitan area hear. We don’t have any issues with future placement or with people not understanding what it is we want to do. ” In fact the only negative call Flanner Buchanan received was from an individual who didn’t think it was appropriate to have information in a mall about death.

If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.

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Cremation Options Insurance Do Licensed Funeral Directors And Embalmers Need It?

October 7th, 2009

Cremation services events involving a Georgia crematory, as well as local level civil suits brought against licensed funeral directors and embalmers claiming failures to render professional services, emphasize the need for every funeral professional to possess professional liability insurance in addition to a commercial general –liability policy. While a general-liability policy usually protects a funeral home from such things as injuries resulting from slips or falls by visitors to the establishment, professional liability insurance –also known as an “errors and omissions” policy or “professional malpractice” insurance –insures a person or entity against claims brought as a result of negligence in the provision of, or in the failure to provide, professional services. Professional liability insurance is a necessity since general liability policies often exclude claims for injuries or damages resulting from the provision of professional services. The particular professional services excluded might be specifically spelled out in the general liability policy but, if not might be covered by a clause that excludes any service requiring a specialized skill or training. In the case of funeral service claims have been made that a particular preparation was “faulty,” to the extent that there was noticeable leakage, a “smell” or that the deceased simply “did not look like he did while he was alive.” While many of these claims are groundless, they still require the defendant to mount a defense, which can prove cost prohibitive. Professional liability insurance protects individuals such as funeral directors that perform professional services from suits alleging a failure to perform such services within the degree of knowledge or skill comparable to professionals within their industry. While professional liability policies were originally designed for professions requiring an advanced degree, such as doctors, lawyers and professional engineers, specific exclusions for professional services in general liability policies have become so brad that other professions, including funeral service, require separate policies to cover alleged professional malpractice. Every funeral director should determine whether he or she has insurance coverage sufficient to protect him or herself from a professional malpractice claim and if their existing policies do not provide this type of protection, they should obtain a professional liability policy immediately. To determine the extent of their existing insurance coverage, the licensed funeral professional should specifically review all applicable insurance policies with their insurance agent and close any gaps in the coverage. I also suggest that any professional liability insurance policy purchased should: include working specifically tailored to funeral professionals. Should state that the insurance carrier has a duty to defend under the policy. Should state that the carrier will pay on behalf of the insured (less any applicable deductible) instead of reimbursing the insured, and specifically pay for such things as legal defense costs and judgments, up to the policy limits. In addition funeral professionals should determine whether their professional liability insurance can/does cover prior acts that might have occurred before the purchase date of the specific professional liability policy. We live in a litigious world, and these days professional liability insurance is absolutely necessary to protect funeral professionals.

If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.

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Promoting Cremation

October 1st, 2009

It has been said that the process of discussing cremation and the rising cremation rate “encourage” families to select cremation services, including direct cremation.  The national cremation rate is approximately 30 percent and is projected to reach about 50 percent within the next 25 years.  This is a significant shift in public behavior. Funeral service must be prepared to serve and meet the needs of families that choose cremation.  It is not through discussion and preparation that that we encourage any form of disposition.  It has been my experience that the process of choosing disposition for a loved one’s body is a very personal and complicated one.  It is a process rooted deeply in ethnic, religious and personal beliefs and not a fad that changes with public whim.  Many people, including some funeral directors, associate the choice for cremation as a request for immediate disposition with no services, but he type of disposition selected does not dictate the type of funeral service, ceremony or celebration a family might choose.  The act of burial or cremation without taking time to pause and acknowledge the life of the deceased disturbs those of us who have dedicated our lives in honoring life and helping the bereaved.  We know the value of the services we provide-the value of ceremony, the value of viewing and the value of memorialization.  After a family chooses burial or cremation, it is up to the funeral directory to guide them through their service options.  We can encourage families to choose cremation, however by offering burial services that are not meaningful to those who attend.  National studies have found that people want to connect with friends and family at the service, and to share memories of the deceased.  They want the service to be personalized.  They want to celebrate the life lived and to reflect on the life of the person who died.  We need to suggest and help provide services that not only meet the needs of the family but also touch the attendees in the “back row.”  Those people must leave that service saying “I want that for myself.”  If they do not like what we offer, if they do not perceive value in the services they attend, then they might associate the lack of fulfillment with the act of burial.  Some will perceive that we cannot provide meaningful burial services and might think that cremation (disposition without ceremony) is their only alternative.  I also believe that a segment of our profession promotes direct cremation by advertising and focusing on minimal services and charges.  How many times in the newspapers do we see ads that read or imply “You don’t need expensive funerals” or “For just a few dollars, we can provide a simple direct-cremation”?  The perception that funerals are too expensive is a commonly held belief, and propagated by the media and many of the immediate disposition companies.  The typical funeral is about a third of the coast of the typical wedding, yet I cannot remember ever seeing an ad or an article about the high cost of weddings.  People see value in the wedding ceremony, and we need to educate the public to recognize the value of the funeral or memorial.  Some funeral providers promote such low prices that even minimal funeral directing to help families is impossible to provide.  The promotion of these minimal services announces to the public that what we do as funeral directors and the valuable services we provide are not important and are overprices.  If our services are not seen as valuable, then what we do is reduced to a commodity.  When one shops for a commodity, price is the most important factor.  The majority of us, and the families served by caring funeral directors, however know the importance of the services we provide.  Grieving families make important decisions that can affect them for the rest of their lives, and they need the counsel of a trusted professional.  Even while providing meaningful burial services and educating the public about the value of ceremony, families will continue to increasingly select cremation.  Some will choose not to view the body or even arrange for a ceremony or reception.  In 25 years every other family you meet with will decide to cremate.  Families that make this decision require the same care and options as those who choose burial.  The services and products we provide must be specifically designed to meet their special needs, regardless of the form of disposition.  They might not have a casket to bury but they will need a place.  They might not choose to view but they will need a positive memory picture and closure. They might not belong to a church or fraternal organization but they will need support from friends and family.  They might think they can do it by themselves but they will need a caring funeral director to help them.  As I have stated before, no one can do what we do better than us long as we are willing to listen to the needs of those we serve.

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Cremation: It’s Never Too Late

September 13th, 2009

Bob L. Henry is 76 years old.  He has lived a fruitful life, filled with new experiences and endeavors.  He has been a seaman, a pilot, a flight instructor and an architect.  He’s happily married and enjoys time with his wife, Francis.  Most people would take a break at this time in their life to enjoy the relaxation of retirement, but Henry is just getting started.  Raised in Trinidad, Henry was the eldest of 13 children.  “I got all the new clothes,” he said, laughing.  “My poor kid brother, at the end of the line, he never saw a new pair of shoes.”  Henry always dreamt of faraway places and new experiences.  He wanted to do something different with his life, instead of watching every penny.  In 1953, at age 20, he migrated to New York, finished his schooling and got his license in architecture.  Later in life, many of his siblings came to the U.S., as well.  “I guess I started a trend,” Henry said.  Henry worked in architecture for most of his life and started his own business in 1983.  He became a pilot and then a flight instructor.  On weekends, he would teach people how to fly, which was a thrill for him.  His second wife, Francis, would accompany him on flights.  But that didn’t quench Henry’s thirst for excitement and adventure.  At age 66, he finally bought something he had always wanted:  a motorcycle.  However, Francis didn’t hide her displeasure with the idea and saw it as a dangerous hobby.  Henry bought the motorcycle anyway but secretly kept it in the garage for two weeks.  Eventually, he came clean about the new bike sitting in the garage, but Francis didn’t have the reaction he was expecting.  “To my surprise, she fell in love with the thing!  Henry said.  The couple frequently took trips to Washington, D.C. and along the east coast on the motorcycle of his dreams.  “That’s a part of my life that I really enjoy,” he added.  The motorcycle even shares a special bond with Francis: it’s named after her.

A Destiny With Death

For most of his life, Henry feared death and everything about it.  “I grew up with a tremendous fear of the funeral business,” he said.  “I was one of those guys, that if I had an errand around the course of a funeral home, I would go around the block instead of walk in front of that place.”  When Henry would visit funeral homes, he had a habit of not staying in the chapel by himself with a dead body.  “One day, my brother’s son, who I have known since he was a baby, he had an accident and he was reposed in one of the chapels.  I said to myself, “this is ridiculous.  I can’t be afraid of (him).  I’ve known him all his life,” Henry said.  He decided to stay by himself with the deceased lying in the chapel.  “I said, “This is a breakthrough.  I am going forward, I am not going back.”  For me, this was an accomplishment.” He revealed.  Unfortunately, Henry’s fear eventually got the better of him.  “The casket was up against the wall, and the wall was covered in a very large drapery,” he said.  “Under the drapery, there was a radiator, and it went “ssssssssssss”.  I swear to you, I almost killed myself trying to get out of that room.  It didn’t help Henry’s fear that Francis grew up in a funeral home and became a funeral director in 1983.  “She wanted until I fell in love with her, and then she switched on me!  He joked.  However, after some time, Henry started to notice the toll that her long, grueling hours were taking on his wife.  “Francis was really working very hard, and getting an average of four hours rest,” Henry said.  This became alarming because Francis’s father acted the same way when he was a funeral director. He eventually got very sick, had a stroke and was in a wheelchair for 25 years.  That was all Henry needed to know in order to work at changing his perception of death.  “The thought of something happening to her propelled me to become a funeral director,” Henry said.  Henry applied for mortuary school but quickly changed his mind.  He reapplied the next year but opted out of the program again.  Francis’s mom pushed Henry and urged him to go back for real this time.  Henry knew that his mother in law was right.  Francis needed help.  Third time was a charm:  Henry quit his architecture business and enrolled at the American Academy McAllister Institute of Funeral Service 2006.  The first semester of mortuary school was fine for Henry, but he was in perpetual fear of the second semester, which involved visiting the morgue.  In the end, he had to remember why he was doing this in the first place.  “I am in this business, not because it was my choice, but because I saw a need to assist my wife, so she didn’t end up over stressing herself,” Henry said.  After Henry started to learn about the human body, however, things began to change with him and his fear of death.  “When I was in school, I knew that my role in the funeral home would be dealing with families, dealing with live people, and never have anything to do with touching a dead body,” Henry said.  “But believe it or not, I am now embalming.”  When Henry started to understand the body and how it worked, it became related to architecture: the systems of the body were similar to the systems of a building.  “I became fascinated with that.  As my fascination grew, I found myself researching it more and more, to the point where the excitement of understanding the system of the body,” he added.  Henry finished mortuary school in one year and started his internship at age 74 at his wife’s business, the Frank R. Bell Funeral Home in Brooklyn, NY.

And End Becomes A Beginning

Henry knows that he has a lot to learn about the funeral industry after only being immersed in it for a few years.  “This is all very recent.  I’m still learning a lot.  It requires a lot of attention and dedication.  I’m prepared to continue on an on, to the level that (Francis) wants me to,” he said.  Before a body is prepared, Francis has a tradition of laying her hands on the body and saying a prayer.  This is a practice that Henry now uses in the preparation.  His compassion for families also gives him a reason to continue this line of work.  “When a family comes into the office grieving, and you have the ability to sit with that family and give them some sense of satisfaction and relief, that is a feeling of accomplishment,” he said.  Henry also has a passion to become involved with the community, even on a global level with natural disasters and situations that need funeral industry members desperately.  He wishes to educate others about his experiences with life in published works.  But Henry never thought this would become his life.  “I never thought I’d have a great time being a funeral director,” he said.  “But for some reason not only do I enjoy being a funeral director, but there seems to be a sense of satisfaction.”  This isn’t the last chapter in Bob Henry’s story.  As far as he’s concerned it’s just a new adventure.  “I seem to have the energy in me, and the thrill of newness, to do this in depth, as meaningful as I possibly can,” he added.

If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.

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Cremation Confessions Of A Small Town Funeral Director

September 11th, 2009

Compassion and empathy cannot be coaxed, practice or taught, but I do believe that they can be learned.  It’s not so much about what we say as it is about what we feel.  At times when the whole concept seems a little vague or hard for me to understand, I have only to remember that to the families I serve, It’s not confusing at all.  In our town, the hospital has a morgue and two -person cooler that is rarely used.  Death is not seen as an embarrassment by our doctors and nurses.  They feel no need to conceal its presence from the rest of the hospital’s occupants and staff.  So even during the day, we go straight to the patient’s room, greet the family and then wheel the dead on quilt covered stretchers through busy hospital corridors.  These journeys are met by those we pass, not with horror or disdain, but with courtesy and respect.  Death care here is seen as a natural extension of all that the hospital has done for these people in life.  And so it is that our death calls came not from morgue attendants but from doctors, nurses, chaplains and social workers who are passing the torch, as it were.  They would never want the family to feel abandoned just because the hospital’s work is done.  The hospital calls us at all hours.  As I get older, my body complains a little more strongly about leaving a warm bed to go on these excursions.  But I don’t mind, and I doubt that I ever will.  I love the stillness of the night, and how in summer it is broken only by the sounds of crickets.  I love how in winter a full moon lights up the snow-covered hillsides of our valley.  Everything moves a little slower at night, and there is something indescribably special about moving around in a silenced, sleeping world.  So when the night shift- charge nurse, Barb called shortly after 3 a.m. to tell us that Alice had died, I told her as I always do, that I’d be along shortly.  Alice’s husband, Herb, would be there waiting for me.  He would find comfort in knowing that Alice would not be wheeled off to a cooler in some out of the way corner of the hospital and forgotten.  The lamp on Alice’s nightstand provided the only light in her room.  Its dim glow shined on Alice’s face with Herb who was standing at her side, holding her hand.  Herb gave a quick glance as I entered the room then returned his gaze to Alice.  “She’s beautiful,” he said softly, then looked to me for a response.  I stood at his side and looked into Alice’s face.  The disease that had claimed her had not been kind.  She had left this world with her mouth hanging open, appearing somewhat ghostly and very thin.  I thought back to the last time I had seen her, a few months earlier.  She had been sitting in her wheelchair all alone in the hall at the nursing home.  I had crouched down, put my hand on her arm and said hello.  She looked at me and let loose with a string of foul language that was really quite startling.  Alice had already left her body.  I’m sure that Herb had gotten used to hearing her talk this way, but it could not have been easy for him.  On the nightstand next to the bed plainly lit by the lamp, a picture of Herb and Alice as young adults rested carefully on a small easel.  Herb was very handsome and Alice simply stunning.  Perhaps Herb had been glancing at that photo when he said what he said what he did, or maybe he could still see that beauty in her lifeless face.  It didn’t really seem to matter, one way or the other.  “Yes, beautiful,” I replied.  As I wheeled Alice through the hospital corridor, Herb walked alongside the stretcher, resting his hand on the quilt near her right knee.  I moved slowly so he could keep pace.  A nurse accompanied us outside and stood with Herb while I put the stretcher into the van.  “You be good to her, young man,” he said.  Looking at Herb as he spoke, it was very clear to me that I was looking into the eyes of the young man I had seen in that photo on the nightstand.  An older, tired version perhaps, but still him, and he was watching out for her, even now.  Glancing in the rearview mirror as I pulled away from the hospital, I could see Herb and the nurse, watching us leave.  I finished with Alice at the funeral home then headed back home.  It was still dark, but it wouldn’t be for long.  As I pulled out of the village, I passed the hospital where a car pulled quickly into the parking lot and screeched to a halt, its four-way flashers blinking.  A young woman emerged from the driver’s seat, ran around to the passenger’s side, removed a small child and then scurried up the ramp to the emergency room with the child in her arms.  Everyone out and about at this hour has a purpose.  In the shadows just beyond the hospital a police cruiser was parked, waiting for someone not familiar with this, its usual hiding spot, to come speeding by.  As I passed the cruiser headlights flashed hello.  Those of us who frequent the early morning hours know each other.  Sometimes if the cruiser’s occupant spots me coming into town, he will follow me to the funeral home to find out who has died.  He’s not being nosey, it really matters to him.  He’s one of us, and he mourns local deaths like we do.  I like that about him.  Up ahead of me, a faint glow was barely visible along the eastern ridge of the mountains of the valley that cradles our town.  Behind me, the village would soon be coming to life.  At the Three Bean Calif, our local coffee shop, the regulars would soon arrive.  By now, Herb would be back home, sitting alone, waiting for his son to arrive from New York,  I imagine him sitting there, holding the portrait I had seen at the hospital, wondering how the years had passed so quickly.  Sometimes I think that night calls give extras meaning and perspective to my life that the eight-to-fivers who live behind the darkened windows that I pass in the night will never experience.  I once tried to explain this to one of them.  “Curious,” was his reply.  I didn’t really expect him to understand.  Once home I crawled back into bed for perhaps another hour of sleep before the alarm went off.  Then it was back to town, to the Three Bean for a cup of coffee and conversation.  One of the night shift nurses had stopped by the café on her way home, so the regulars already knew about Alice’s death.  News travels quickly around here, which is kind of nice, actually.  It means that at the cafes, coffee shops and various other places around town that I frequent, it’s not always me who is the bearer of bad news.

If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.

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Cremation Steps To Pre-Need Due Diligence

September 11th, 2009

Like so many other funeral directors across the country, Paul Lemasters, an attorney and licensed funeral director and embalmer from Cincinnati, is deeply concerned about the state of funeral pre-need.  “I was seeing several years ago funeral homes and cemeteries going out of business because of their bad practices in pre-need,” Lemasters said.  “Now, that the environment has changed and the players may have changed, but it’s the same story.”  Lemasters gets calls from funeral directors saying that they’re going to sue companies like National Prearranged Services and Lincoln Memorial for losing “their” money.  Lemasters is quick to point out that.  “They lost your families’ money.  You lost your families money.  You’ve got to keep these roles in place.  It was never your money, that was the families ‘money entrusted to you to invest, to hold on to, so at the time of death-there’s no guarantee, that’s the downside here, but you’re still going to be responsible.”  However, Lemasters believes that pre-need can be set right again if funeral directors and funeral home owners exercise proper due diligence when dealing with pre-need insurance companies.  Due diligence is defined in two ways: business definition: process of investigation performed by the investors into the details of a potential investment.  Legal definition: the care reasonably expected from, and ordinarily exercised by a person who seeks to satisfy a legal requirement to discharge an obligation.  “These are important definitions, and there’s one thing that’s common in these, and that’s you,” Lemasters said.  “You are the investor; you are the person seeking to satisfy a legal requirement.”  Lemasters presents five steps that you can use to do your own due diligence.

  1. Business Find out as much information as you can about the company.  “You need to interview them as much as they’re trying to get your business,” Lemasters said.  It’s also helpful to know as much as you can about the company representative.  You may find that their experience and training is lacking.  These are red flags against the potential company.
  2. RatingObtain a company’s approval rating from either A.M. Best, Standard & Poor’s or Moody’s.  “Obviously, the higher the rating, the more peace you’ll have in doing business with that company,” Lemasters said.  Companies pay to be rated.  Companies may say that they don’t think they should “buy” a rating from these companies.  But that is a red flag, as any reputable company would want to establish a rating.
  3. InvestmentsWhere is your money being invested?  What’s your standard growth?  What is the rate of return?  You should at least have an understanding so if your family asks where their pre-need money is going, you have an idea.
  4. Registration“This is a phone call, this is so easy,” Lemasters said.  Call the state regulator to make sure that the company you may do business with is legitimate.  Also contact the Department of Insurance to find out if a company has any claims against it.
  5. PerksCommission on pre-need trusts can be a good thing, but at least look at what you’re getting.  If you feel that a perk is wrong, then go with your gut instinct.  “If you’re doing something and you can’t tell your families about it, you probably shouldn’t do it,” Lemasters said. In addition to the five steps, Lemasters also outlined other strategies you can take to increase your protection:  number your contracts.  Pre-need contracts should have a sequential number on them, and there should be a log that accounts for every single contract.  If the contracts are numbered and you have a log for every contract, you protect yourself from unjust claims.  Establish a pre-need account.  Set up an account that is nothing but pre-need, so if you get audited you will easily be able to display your pre-need activities.  Get insurance to protect you. “If my employees steal my pre-need money, am I covered?”  Lemasters asked.  Your insurance company doesn’t know your business.  You should probably have a fidelity insurance policy.  A theft policy runs about $10,000 and can protect you from getting hundreds of thousands of dollars from you.

If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.

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Cremation And The Fanning Flames

September 3rd, 2009

With every death, there is one major choice that has to be made; what to do with the remains.  And as much as the industry talks about and tries to support various methods, for most of the population the choice comes down to burial or cremation.  This is a choice that’s becoming increasingly difficult to make.  One thing is for certain: cremation isn’t going to decrease in popularity anytime soon.  Just look at David Nixon’s annual cremation survey and the rising cremation rates it reveals, to Lindsay Eagan’s survey which shows that Generation Y prefers cremation by a wide margin.  So cremation isn’t going anywhere but up.  One day down the road, traditional burial may be looked at as a passe’ thing to do and cremation will be regularly accepted norm.  Of course 502 years from now, science may have advanced to the point where a deceased body can be instantly vaporized by a blast from the mortician’s handy Cremate Gun 3000, which will cost the client 400,000 North American Union Credits, but I digress.  Here in the near future, plain old cremation is primed to at least pull even with burial.  Funeral directors will have to get a better handle on cremation services and pricing in order to stay ahead of the game.  Have you adjusted our cremation prices, according to demand in the past several years?  If not the time is way past due to do so.  If you see that the cremation rate in your area is booming over the next few years, should you open your own crematory?  So like a grieving family has to make a choice between burial and cremation, you also have to make a choice on how to maximize your cremation services.  At least until they invent that vaporizing gun.

If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.

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Cremation, Religion, Culture And Rituals In Funeral Service

August 25th, 2009

Since 1908, when America witnessed its largest influx of immigrants, the United States has served as a haven for those seeking to live out the American dream.  Today, the United States is experiencing it’s a second great wave of immigration, as immigrants from the still developing worlds of Asia and Latin America make it their home.  As cities and towns become increasingly multicultural, it is essential for funeral service providers to be cognizant of the role that religion plays in the funeral services of the residents of the communities they serve.  The following is an overview of the rituals and beliefs of several of the cultures that are becoming a greater part of the fabric of America, in the hope that it will provide some degree of insight for funeral service professionals who are called upon to care for them.  It should be noted, however, that some of these customs may not always be applicable in certain areas, and funeral directors should consult with the religious leaders of the various groups to become familiar with their specific needs.

Religion And Clothing

In the United States, the custom among most funeral-goers is to wear black, as it signifies mourning or death.  However, in many religions, black is not the traditional color of mourning.  Buddhists, for example, wear white loose fitting clothes, as mourners are expected to meditate during the ceremony.  Followers of the Greek Orthodox religion expect mourners to wear navy blue clothing to signify death, and the deceased’s widow must wear black clothing for up to two years after a spouse’s death to signify mourning.  During Islamic funeral services, women are expected to cover their heads and arms and are not allowed to be seated near the men.  Followers of Judaism also believe that mourners should be covered.  Jewish men must wear a yarmulke or a kippah.  Clothing differences are not the only factors funeral providers should be aware of.  Many religions also have differing views on how long the body should be held before burial.

Life After Death

The Hmong, an ethnic group originating in China, Thailand and Laos, believe that a funeral should last for three days.  The funeral is the most important part of the Hmong culture and must be performed properly to ensure a prosperous afterlife for the deceased.  Family members play a key role in helping to prepare the body for burial and adorn it with food, wine, clothing and money to protect the deceased’s soul from evil spirits as it journeys to the other world.  Followers of the Baha’I religion must be buried within a one hour traveling radius of the place where the death occurred.  The most striking differences in the various religions can be seen in the traditions that are carried out during the funeral service.

Religion And Funeral Services

In Buddhist ceremonies, guests are expected to view the body and offer a small bow in front of the casket to honor the deceased. The funeral ceremony includes chanting and individual offerings of incense.  Although rituals may vary according to the traditions of a particular sect, Jewish funeral services are conducted by a Rabbi and typically require a closed casket.  Additionally, mourners are not permitted to enter during the recessional, processional or reading of eulogies during the services.  Following the services, the body is taken to the grave site for interment.  The immediate family then recites the Kaddish, a prayer about God and his relationship with the mourners.  Others in attendance recite only the limited responses.  After prayers, each person places a shovel-full of dirt on the casket.  Scientologists, on the other hand, do not believe in the concept of a funeral because they believe that the deceased has not died but merely moved on to another level of life.  As a result, they refer to their services as memorial services.

The Greatest Honor

As the face of America changes, it is increasingly important for funeral directors to not only comfort their clients in their time of need but also respect their cultural rites and rituals.  By honoring the traditions of the dead and respecting their cultural and religious customs, funeral directors help create a meaningful experience for those who grieve.

If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.

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Cremation And Chinese Burial Customs

August 25th, 2009

Feeding 21 percent of the world’s population with only 7 percent of the world’s arable land is the unenviable task faced by the Chinese government.  With 1.3 billion hungry mouths to feed, preserving all available farm land is a top priority for the government.  While soil erosion and commercial development in China’s emerging market economy might first come to mind as obstacles toward this goal, the Chinese government is less concerned with these problems than with another factor-ground burial of the dead.  According to Chinese belief, in order for the dead to find external rest, their intact remains should be buried in the ground in a grave appropriate to the deceased’s rank and station in life,  For thousands of years, the Chinese performed elaborate ground burials.  They transferred food, money and goods to the deceased.  In some ceremonies, rice was place in the mouths of the dead so that they would be free from going hungry in the underworld.  In a deeply-rooted belief that spirits of the ancestors had to be looked after and ritually appeased, every spring on Qingning Festival people would pay homage by visiting their tombs and offerings.  Paper money is burned for the wandering ghosts in order to satiate their need to consume in the nether world.  Other goods, anything from a shirt and tie to a luxurious car, are also buried in an effort to transfer these items to the dead.  Since 1949, when the communists took power, they have tried to replace traditional burials with cheaper alternatives.  The Communists argue that such burials are costly to both the families and the country.  Supplying the traditional heavy wooden coffins requires the cutting of many trees thus adding to land erosion, while the scattered graves take up considerable land that could be used for farming.  The official Chinese news agency, Xinhua, has reported that due to the preference for tomb burials in the Guangdong province, more than 250 hectares of land are lost there every year.  Communist leaders have often challenged social conventions by setting a personal example, and the Chinese are no exception in the regard.  The first challenge to traditional ground burial was mounted by Mao Tse-Tung in 1956 when he announced that he planned to be cremated.  While this never happened, and Mao’s body went on display in Beijing’s Tiananmen  Square, the gesture did begin a small trend toward greater acceptance of cremation.  But while cremation began to catch on, the demand for ground interment remained unabated.  So despite government-sponsored programs touting space-saving sea burial and high rise columbariums for the disposal of cremated remains, the Chinese continued to prefer ground interment of their loved one’s cremated remains.  The next major challenge to custom came in February 1997 with the death of Deng Xiaoping, architect of China’s reform and opening drive, whose last wish was to be cremated and his ashes scattered in the sea.  Deng’s remains were cremated and scattered at sea.  Again this gesture brought about some amount of social change, but was not as successful as the government would have liked.  A 2001 study revealed that only 37 percent of those who died in China during the preceding year were cremated, despite free cremation services in may low income rural areas.  According to recent press reports, Shanghai has encouraged burial at sea since 1991.  But although it costs only about $13, compared with $1,200 to $1,800 for a typical earth burial, there have been few takers.  Less than 1,000 of the 100,000 people who die in Shanghai each year are buried at sea, according to a Chinese government run newspaper.  Predictably, the elderly, especially in the rural areas, have led the resistance toward cremation.  Chinese statistics show that while nearly 90 percent of city dwellers who die are being cremated, only 15 percent of rural residents choose cremations.  Having offered the carrot to limited success, the Chinese government banned all ground burials in urban areas and began an effort to ban new cemeteries throughout the nation altogether.  Efforts to alter traditional beliefs about funeral customs have also been redoubled with the creation of government -run, 24 hour, full service burial centers that were recently opened with the mission to change old customs and attitudes.  Still, the road to ending ground burial will be an uphill one in a China where even talking about death is difficult.  The word for death (pronounced suh) is rarely spoken, apparently due to the ancient belief that what you speak of will come to pass.  The number four is even considered unlucky because the Chinese word for it sounds like the word for death.  In the past, a range of class and rank specific  euphemisms was used to describe death.  Even now most people refer to death as xieshi (pass away), laole (got old) or simply zoule (gone).  Another factor adding to the difficulty is China’s market economy which is giving more Chinese greater access to wealth and more freedom to spend their money as they see fit,  Many newly-rich Chinese have spent lavishly on ostentatious burial ceremonies and monuments for their parents.  One family reportedly spent upward of $2.5 million on an elaborately landscaped hilltop grave including a four-story building for their elderly father.  In 2002, people making the Qingming Festival-China’s traditional day for sweeping the graves and remembering the dead-were encouraged to pay homage through the internet instead of burning paper money and arranging sumptuous feasts on the hillside tombs.  As China goes modern and the number of internet users is growing rapidly, the authorities are hoping that online tributes to the dead and even online cremations might prevail over traditional burial and homage practices.

If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.

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