CREMATION OPTIONS

Shipping human and cremated remains has always been fairly straightforward. Funeral directors have relied on the United States Postal Service’s registered mail to move cremated remains and the commercial airlines to handle human remains. But are these the only options available to the industry? While these methods are certainly the most cost effective they are not always the most convenient or compassionate. Situations have occurred when the traditional shipping methods have not been fast enough or offered enough privacy or compassion. This article explores other possibilities for shipping both cremated and human remains when the traditional methods will not work. The methods discussed are not offered as ways to save money but to be another resource available to the funeral director when the situations above occur.

SHIPPING CREMATED REMAINS

As the number of cremations continues to steadily increase so does the need to ship cremated remains. It is important to know the rules of shipping cremated remains as well as your viable options. Funeral directors, crematories and scattering services often provide incorrect information to family members when it comes to shipping cremated remains, putting themselves and the family at risk. In addition most funeral directors are not always aware of other available options and therefore miss an opportunity to serve the family’s need for speed or compassion. When we need to ship a regular package, especially with speed, we have several air express delivery companies at our disposal. Brown, red or yellow they all have the ability to move packages fast.

While this holds true for shipping a box of Christmas presents to your relatives in California, this is not the case for cremated remains. Every major air express company strictly prohibits human remains from being shipped on their network, including cremated remains. By reviewing the company’s terms and conditions you will quickly discover a list of prohibited items. You will also discover a clause that states, “Failure to comply with any of the terms and conditions will result in a denial of loss or damage claim.” While most express package companies do a fantastic job of delivering boxes and small envelopes, loss and damage does occur. Their systems are not designed for packages that are irreplaceable, hence their unwillingness to accept cremated remains. Explaining to a family that their loved one’s remains have been lost or damaged is every funeral director’s nightmare. If you are currently using one of the major air express carriers to ship cremated remains, cease immediately! You are putting you and your firm at serious risk of a lawsuit, publicity nightmare and at worse, a tarnished image in the community. IF you continue to use this option and a loss or damage or loss occurs, you have no action of recourse. Make it clear; shipping cremated remains through the traditional air express companies is not an option! A vast majority of cremated remains are shipped via the United States Postal Service (USPS) registered mail.

Cremated remains cannot be sent by overnight express mail, regular mail or certified mail. USPS Publication 52 section 462.2 states, “Human ashes are permitted to be mailed provided they are packaged as required in 463b. The identity of the contents should be marked on the address side. Mail pieces must be sent registered mail with return receipt service.” Section 463B discusses how the remains should be packed; “Dry materials that could cause damage, discomfort, destruction or soiling upon escape (i.e. leakeage) must be packed in sift proof containers or other containers that are sealed in durable sift proof outer containers.” While this method is both reliable and economical, it is not very fast nor compassionate or convenient. Funeral directors must take time out of their busy schedule to drive to the post office, stand in line to complete the necessary paperwork, and keep their fingers crossed the package doesn’t make a wrong turn in Iowa. Family members sometimes dislike the lack of compassion
associated with the postal service and are often embarrassed when they have to go to the post office to recover a box labeled “Human Remains.” While it is a very practical method of moving cremated remains, it is somewhat limited by its speed, convenience and compassion. It’s not always the best option for the shipper of the receiver. Another option available to cremated remains shippers is the commercial airlines. This can be either in the passenger cabin or the cargo hold area. If a passenger with a paid far wishes to bring the cremated remains onboard the aircraft, it is critical that the remains are packed in a box that can be easily x- rayed by the Transportation Security Administration (TSA).

If the container is constructed from a material that prevents the security screener from being able to identify the contents, the package will not be permitted past the security checkpoint. Even if the family is willing to allow further inspection by opening the package, the security screener will not comply and the package and the passenger will be denied entry. If the package is denied the passenger may check the remains onboard as cargo and the package will be placed in the cargo hold area of the aircraft. It is critical that the contents are appropriately packed to handle the cargo loading and unloading process. If the remains are packed as if they would be placed in the overhead bin but end up being denied access and have to go as cargo, it is advisable to find another way to transport. If remains need to be shipped with extreme speed and there is no family member available to accompany the remains on the aircraft, funeral directors can still utilize not only commercial airlines, but other time-critical airlines as well. Companies such as AirNet Express or Columbus, Ohio specialize in shipping sensitive materials and offer door-to-door pick-up and delivery of cremated remains. By combining their exclusive fleet of over 140 airplanes with all major commercial airlines they are able to move the remains in less than 14 hours, door-to-door 24/7/365. The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) regulations mandate that companies such as AirNet conduct a physical site inspection at your place of business before allowing you to ship on commercial aircraft if you are not already a known shipper. While this site audit is not required to ship on AirNet’s aircraft it is recommended that one be performed if your firm is not already a known shipper with the TSA. While this service is more expensive than the USPS, it provides super expedited speed, convenience by providing door-to-door pick-up and delivery, extreme reliability and privacy for the family. It is important to note that commercial airlines require that remains be accompanied by a signed certificate of death or a burial/burial removal permit, as required by law.

SHIPPING HUMAN REMAINS

tragedy no one industry has felt the sting of changes in commercial aviation Since the September 11 th more than the funeral industry. The financial distress caused by this act has caused a significant reduction in the number of cities served, the size of the aircraft and its cargo capacity, the number of direct flights from major cities, and the increased possibility that a major carrier will face closure. Cities such as Green Bay, Wis., Charleston, W.Va., and Cheyenne, Wyo, were once served by aircraft that had the capability to move human remains. Now funeral directors in these cities must recover from larger cities with drives up to eight hours. This problem will only worsen with time as commercial airlines replace existing aircraft with regional jets or cancel routes all together. It is also important to note that the newer “low fare” airlines coming into the market have been unwilling to accept human remains further complicating matters. Another option to consider when time is of the essence and the commercial airlines are not available is to charter an aircraft. Chartered aircraft, albeit significantly more costly than using a commercial aircraft, can be flown anywhere, anytime. Usually the airplane can be on location within two hours of the call and unlike commercial airlines, will land to the closet recovery airport (providing there is appropriate runway length). When families want their loved one’s remains home immediately, especially if death is a result of a tragedy, a charter may be viable option. As mentioned earlier companies such as AirNet can accommodate an on-demand charter. No matter where the remains are coming from or going to,

AirNet will find the most cost effective aircraft for the mission, make all ground arrangements, and complete all necessary paperwork. This service can be most useful to a family who wants to recover their loved one’s remains as soon as possible (especially from remote locations) do not want their loved one’s remains to ride in the baggage compartment or in situations where privacy is of the utmost important. In addition to the human remains on most private aircraft one passenger is permitted to accompany the remains during flight. Charter pricing is based on the origin and destination, the size of the shipping container (combo unit vs. airtray), and availability of aircraft. Prices range from $2500 to over $20,000. Examples of pst missions have included flying remains from the east coast to the west coast in less than six hours to accommodate an early morning funeral, flying remains to Central America, and recovering remains from a remote location out west and delivering to grieving family in the Midwest. Chartering an aircraft may not always be to simply recover the remains from the point of death and fly it home. In one instance where a plane was chartered a man’s family wished to have multiple viewings in multiple cities. The man had owned businesses in several locations on the east coast and rather than ask the employees to come to one central location to pay their last respects, they chartered an aircraft and the remains were flown to four different cities in two days. In another example a wife wanted to memorialize her husband who had a deep admiration for aviation by chartering a private plane to fly his remains over the Pacific Ocean. As funeral directors move to event planning, a charter might be a unique option for a family to celebrate a loved one’s life. A private charter is not for everyone, but don’t make the mistake of dismissing it as an option. As the commercial airlines continue to struggle, it can be a useful option in time of need. A private charter can be dispatched day or night and has very few restrictions associated with the commercial airlines.
The recovering funeral home can recover directly from the aircraft, which is important when privacy is important. If you depend on a mortuary shipper to assist in shipping cremated or human remains you should ask them about charter options if commercial airlines are not meeting your customer’s demands. Chances are they have used a charter in the past and can assist you in contacting a company that specialized in charters.

CONCLUSION

While a vast majority of the time traditional mortuary shipping works, it is important to know there are other options available that may be useful. A grieving family needs to be presented with all options when traditional methods break down. While cost may be prohibitive the decision needs to be made by the family not the funeral director. And most importantly it is important that you do not suggest an option that is not viable such as shipping cremated remains through the traditional air express companies. Know the rules, but more importantly know your options. It may come in handy the next time the traditional mortuary shipping methods break down.

Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

Cremation, Laws, Uncategorized Cremation, shipping cremated remains, shipping rules

I was out walking in the woods one chilly April afternoon. For weeks nature had been with holding her gift of warmer sunny spring weather. It seemed as if it had been cloudy forever. And then suddenly rays of sunshine broke through the tree limbs. I smiled and my heart said a prayer of thanks for the unexpected but most welcome gift of warm sunlight.

As I soaked up the rays I was aware of how grateful I was for this sunshine because it had been so scarce. Walking in the filtered sunlight I thought of Flora, Emma, Daisy, Bob, Jane, Charles, Hazel, Eldon, Mandy-all of these people and so many more. As a hospice social worker I was privileged to be with them and their families in the last months of their lives. And I thought of the similarity between my special appreciation of the scare sun this spring and the awareness of the scarcity of time left in my friends’ lives which had brought a special gratefulness, intensity and intimacy to their days. In the midst of the daily activities the physical discomfort, the emotional struggles, there was an overriding awareness of how precious these days were, because they were fleeting.

WORKING YOUR WAY THROUGH

These families coping with grief were experiencing some of the most difficult yet most special and spiritual times in their lives. As you journey with your loved one through this difficult time, I’d like to share with you some of what these people taught me about living while facing the reality of dying.

ACCEPT THE UNIQUENESS OF THE DYING PROCESS

The adage “we bring to our dying the resources of our living” seems most often to be accurate. We need to respect individuals’ right to complete their lives in ways that are meaningful to them. Not everyone reaches the kind of acceptance about impending death that we may hope he or she will. Knowing this can help us minimize unrealistic expectations. My friend Bess fought cancer for three years. Even when she was so weak she could not open the school door, she taught music to the children she loved until two weeks before her death. It was not easy for those who loved her to watch her struggle, but out of respect for the choice to live as fully as possible until she died, we journeyed beside her as best we knew how.

GIVE THE GIFT OF YOUR PRESENCE

The clearest message from those who are dying is “don’t abandon me!” When there is no cure, the comfort of presence is the best medicine. And it is best administered in regular doses by loved ones. The need for intimacy and people who care often intensifies at this time. Sitting together, holding hands, hugging, laughing, talking, listening-all are gifts of presence that have a healing power which transcends the physical body. These are ways we can be God’s hands and heart in this world. When you listen to your dying loved one, listen with a “third ear”- not only to what is said but to how it is said and to what is not said. Ask gently: “How can I help?” “What’s this like for you?” “What worries you the most?” “Is there anyone you especially want to see?” “Is there any unfinished business you want to take care of?” And remember it’s OK to say, “I don’t’ know what to say.” You don’t have to know all the right things to say-no one does. Reminisce with your loved one about the memories, the cherished values, the accomplishments of other legacies of the person that will continue to live on. This kind of life review is important closure for everyone. “Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.”

SHARE YOUR FEELINGS

Don’t waste time trying to protect one another from the reality that your loved one has a limited life expectancy-you will miss the intimacy and meaningful conversations that can make this time so precious. Ideally family members are able to share their deepest feelings when a loved one is dying. It’s a treasured gift to hear someone say, “thank you,” “I’m sorry,” “I remember….” And “I’ll miss you.” If spoken feelings don’t come easily, consider writing a letter to your loved one expressing your thoughts and feelings. You may need to preface the conversation with “I know this won’t be easy for either of us…” or “You don’t have to respond but please allow me to do this for myself.” Sharing your feelings will leave you with precious memories and fewer regrets, both of which will be important in healing from your grief.

ALLOW OTHERS TO HELP

Most of us take pride in being self reliant. But when serious illness invades your life it’s time to put aside pride and allow others to help. Almost every hospice family I’ve worked with said, “I only wish I had called for help sooner.” If there isn’t a hospice program in your community check on the availability of visiting nurses from the county health department or a home health agency. Your friends or members of you congregation may be willing to prepare meals or provide other practical help. You will be giving them a precious gift by allowing them to reach out to you.

TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF

It’s impossible to care intensely for a person who is seriously ill without needing time away. Get out of the house or the hospital room, at least for short periods of time. Go for a walk, go shopping, get a massage or a haircut- whatever will help renew you. Share your feelings with a trusted friend, family member or clergyperson. If you need a shoulder to cry on say so. Tears are god’s release valve for all the pent up feelings of sadness, worry and fear that accompany a terminal illness. Don’t use staying with your loved one 24 hours a day as the measuring stick of your love. Remember you need to love yourself too. You will be able to be more present to your loved one if you are taking care of yourself.

SORT OUT UNHEALTHY BELIEFS

Oftentimes people suffer as much spiritual pain as emotional or physical pain because of their beliefs about how god operates in the world. Some people believe that illness happens because god is punishing them for something they have or have not done. I remember when a young man Gene was dying of a brain tumor. His wife had to endure the additional agony caused by church members who accused her of having enough faith and thus keeping Gene from healing. God does not inflict this kind of suffering on us. When we are facing the tragedy of losing someone we love God suffers with us. Seek guidance from a chaplain or clergy member or spiritual director who can help you sort out misconceptions and beliefs.

MAKE MEMORIES TOGETHER

Be intentional about creating memories. I remember the joy of an Easter egg hunt for grandchildren in the bedroom of their grandfather who was dying. I remember the laughter and fun of day trips to nearby tourist attractions while a friend was still physically able to enjoy them. I remember birthday parties, special visits from faraway relatives and friends, and singing and praying at bedsides. Create memories that will bring you moments of joy now and sustain you later.

OFFER A FINAL GIFT

Sometimes when a person is physically ready to let go of this world the spirit seems to keep him or her here. IF a person senses that a family member is clinging unable to let go, he or she may try to stay alive beyond what seems physically possible. I have witnessed profoundly spiritual moments when a family member is able to say “I will miss you terribly but I love you enough to let you go.” This is the ultimate unselfish parting gift to a loved one.

TAKE HEART

“There is no hope,” people often say when someone is dying. But I believe hope is always with us. Hope is like a kaleidoscope, changing with each new turn. Each hope carries us through that particular moment in the journey then it changes and adapts to a new reality. When we first hear the diagnosis we hope for a treatment that will cure. Later we may hope for a longer life than the doctor is predicting. Beyond this we may hope that the pain can be controlled or that a person can leave the hospital and enjoy the garden at home once again. My mother hoped to see another grandchild born before she died-a hope that was fulfilled. The ultimate hope may be for a peaceful death surrounded by family and friends. My hope for you is that in the midst of this difficult time you will have glimpses of sunshine that will illuminate how precious each moment truly is. May you feel god’s presence with you every step of your journey.

Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

Cremation, Grief, Uncategorized, healing dealing with death, Grief, terminal illness

My father passed away just before Valentine’s Day this last year. Although he had been a hospice patient for some months, the end still came more quickly than we expected. The family was gathering for one final get together, but Dad’s passing turned our gathering into a final farewell.

It was fortunate that just two weeks earlier, Mom and I had talked to a funeral planner about pre-planning funeral decisions that would have to be made. Mom and Dad both had a few strong feelings about death and dying. Dad wanted to be cremated with his cremains interred in the family plot in his hometown some distance away. Mom wanted a church service with the casket present and a family ceremony at the gravesite. There were a few favorite prayers and hymns mentioned, but they just didn’t seem to want to talk about it much.

Our funeral planner was compassionate in presenting and discussing the myriad decisions to be made. She provided expert guidance, offering helpful suggestions about what other families had found comforting, including poem, prayer and hymn selections. She was respectful about our family finances and steered us toward well-considered options that would allow us to honor Dad without straining the family’s resources.

Two pieces of advice she offered were particularly valuable. Our funeral planner reminded us that while a funeral should honor the dead, it should also comfort the living. She encouraged us to include in the visitation and memorial service elements that would be meaningful to each member of our large family. She also suggested that we share memories of Dad through eulogies, photos, scrapbooks and prized possessions. After Dad’s passing, as we chatted with family and friends during the visitation, those photographs and mementos from Dad’s life provided great comfort, evoking wonderful memories of Dad during happier, more vigorous times.

I don’t know how we would have survived the week without the assistance of our always calm, always helpful funeral planner. Even before Dad died, Mom was only able to think about what was coming for brief periods. After Dad’s death, grief made it impossible for her to focus on decision making. With decisions made and a plan in place, our funeral planner was able to step in and take care of all the exhausting details that crowd the end of life, relieving our family of the stress and strain of decision-making. Our family was able to focus on remembering Dad and comforting each other.

Burial Services, Cremation, Funeral Planner, Uncategorized Pre-Planning