CREMATION OPTIONS

Often our world comes to an end when we realize that our loved one has departed. The more we long for comfort, the harder it is to find. In this situation, Cremation jewelry offers the comfort that cannot be found anywhere else. A memoir or a keepsake is often the best way to have a concrete remembrance of the departed soul. Whenever the bereaved feel or extreme loneliness surpasses your emotions, you can hold the memoir close to your heart. You can feel the eternal presence of your loved ones.

Though it is not possible to breathe new life into some one who has passed away, carrying a piece of that person with you everyday brings the much needed solace. Urn jewelry hung close to one’s heart eases a lot of pain and brings some peace to a grief-stricken person. Besides, it is also helpful in finding the path to closure for moving ahead after a loss. Wearing the jewelry also allows you to treasure those precious moments that you once shared with a loved one. Cremation urn jewelry enables you to keep loved ones close to your heart both physically and spiritually.

Cremation urn jewelry following cremation services is a kind of keepsake jewelry that allows you to hold a small part of the remains of your loved one. Generally, a small compartment is filled with the ashes of some one who has departed. The ashes can be stored in a sealed compartment of the jewelry. It is a physical reminder that can be carried as a beautiful commemorative piece.

Cremation urn jewelry offers you an alternative to honor the life of your deceased loved ones. Moreover, you can keep the jewelry close to you or display the remains in an attractive container. This new jewelry has been increasingly popular among those who have experienced a loss. It comes in different varieties from pendants, bracelets, rings and pins. They are as stylish as any other jewelry pendant. However, the most popular and meaningful design is an urn pendant.

In contrast to the regular cremation urns, the jewelry can be kept private and concealed without anyone knowing what it is. Find a design that corresponds to the true nature of your loved ones. Gold and silver urn pendants are available in different themes, from personally significant or modern designs to sea creatures. Cremation urn jewelry is available in different materials such as brass, pewter, and various precious gems incorporated on them.

Cremation urn jewelry enables you to pay tribute to your loved ones. It is a constant reminder of his/her significance in your life.

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Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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Cremation jewelry was designed as a miniature cremation urn with a hollow chamber to hold a bit of ashes from a loved one’s cremation. The original idea was to allow one or more family members to keep a physical part of their loved one close at heart, regardless of how the rest of the cremated remains would be disposed of or how many family members wanted to share the ashes. The ash pendant could then be worn as an urn pendant or displayed beneath a jeweler’s glass dome to create a personal memorial.

For any number of reasons, however, jewelry for ashes doesn’t appeal to some people. Some are opposed to cremation in general, while others just don’t like the idea of reserving cremated remains in the form of jewelry. Perhaps you belong to a church that prohibits the practice of cremation, or maybe your religion has strict rules about the disposition of ashes. Even so, cremation jewelry still affords an opportunity to honor your loved one in a unique and personal way.

Cremation jewelry isn’t just jewelry for ashes. The hollow chamber in every urn pendant can accommodate any small keepsake to remind you of your loved one. Following are some of the mementoes people choose to save in their cremation necklaces.

A Lock of Hair
A lock of a loved one’s hair is a special keepsake indeed. If you’re a parent, you may have kept a snip of hair from your child’s first haircut to remind you of the tiny baby you once held in your arms. And lovers throughout history have kept wisps of each other’s hair to help them feel close when they were apart. The hair of fallen soldiers was fashioned into the memorial jewelry that was popular during the Civil War. Place a lock of your loved one’s hair in your urn pendant for safekeeping.

Soil
The time-honored practice of “paying respects” to a deceased loved one with regular visits to his or her grave is less common today, as fewer and fewer family members are centrally located in the home town. Whether you live near your loved one’s burial place or far away, you can use your cremation jewelry to save a few grains of earth from the grave site.

Funeral Flowers
The outpouring of sympathy following the death of a loved one often includes floral gifts in a variety of colors, species, and arrangements. Flowers are a fragrant reminder of the nature of life - rich, beautiful, and fleeting. By drying some of the flowers after the funeral, you can preserve their colorful beauty. Once the flowers are dry, you can crumble a pinch of the petals into the chamber of your cremation keepsake pendant.

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Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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Whenever I hear of a parent who loses a child I am immediately taken back to June 1999 when we lost our 6 year old son Daniel.

Because of our own bereavement our reactions to the deaths of children inevitably include a deep sympathy for surviving parents. We think for instance about what the parents will be facing in the weeks, months and years to come. It is possible for us to look at the parents who have recently lost a child and to detect in their numbed responses some of the unwillingness to accept the facts that accompanies the survivors in the early days after such a tragedy. We think to ourselves, “they have no idea what their lives are probably going to become in the next few years.” Whether you are grieving the death of a child, spouse, parent or other loved one a simple truth applies sometimes grief lasts a lifetime.

The death of a loved one becomes a crucial event in any person’s life, which is no surprise. Grief can be grueling. And for many grieving people it becomes not only the crucial before‐and‐after moment of adulthood but it usually has a lifetime effect. And yet there is hope in even the most difficult of experiences.

WORK THROUGH THE MULTIPLE MYTHS ABOUT THE ORDEAL

They say for instance that time heals all wounds. But about two years after my son Daniel’s death I ws not feeling better but markedly worse‐I was actually getting so discouraged and often so physically and emotionally anesthetized that I began to do research into the clinical findings about parental grief and its effects on surviving parents. The findings of clinical psychologists helped me to understand several things. First my reactions were normal and predictable. I was not losing my mind but experiencing what the vast majority of bereaved parents experience. The feelings of numbness, shortness of breath and incoherence in my thought patterns are very common. Looking around and expecting Daniel to run in at my moment is not a sign of mental illness. Seriously questioning the nature of god is not unusual for people of faith. My emotional and physiological responses were quite predictable.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO “LET GO OF THE DEAD LOVED ONE AND GO ON WITH YOUR OWN LIFE”

This sort of advice has its roots in earlier theories of grief that considered extended or long lasting grief to be “pathological.” One school of thought made the distinction between mourning which is the normal reaction to the loss of a loved one and melancholia which his essentially a form of mental illness. According to this way of thinking, grieving people need to break free from the deceased, let go of the past, and reassert themselves by forging ahead and charting a new course in life. But Daniel’s death left very intense and never ending changes in both my wife and in me. We still think about Daniel every day, miss him a lot, and refuse to “let go” of him. Clinical workers are now discovering that this reaction is not only predictable but probably healthier for the bereaved. In reality lifelong grief is normal in cases of the loss of close family members. Today more and more psychologists are recognizing the importance of continuing bonds with the dead. In my own case I still feel a deep connection with my son and I have no intention of ever trying to break that bond. Neither does my wife.

BEREAVEMENT BRINGS ABOUT A CRISIS OF MEANING

Losing a loved one challenges one’s view of the world, leading frequently to a kind of despair and hopelessness. For us our child evoked a connection with the past, an investment in the future, and an extension of self. Children are concrete expressions of hope in the future and when a child dies much of a person’s hope dies was well. The same is true for other close personal losses, whether of your spouse, your parent, a sibling or long‐term dear friend. Because Daniel was our only child my wife and I felt lost and forlorn‐and still do in some respects‐in not having a legacy for the future. Our loss challenged our previous assumptions about the purpose and meaning of life. Because Daniel was such an important part of the meaning of our lives what was left for the future? Related to this ongoing sense of hopelessness is the fact that some studies show that grief actually gets worse with time. It was pretty depressing to realize that I might not have bottomed out yet. Often the most difficult moments of grief occur long after the actual death. In my case I think it has been the chronic suffering of my wife that has been the hardest for both of us‐and we are still dealing with its aftermath. And chronic suffering has probably inspired more crises of doubt and meaning than almost anything else in human history.

YOU CAN STILL BELIEVE

One of the oddities of the research on people who grieve is the differences in spiritual reactions that survivors can experience. Some turn completely and permanently away from their faith community, god and religious belief of any sort. Others turn even more strongly toward God and find their religious faith rejuvenated and strengthened. And then there are some who experience a little bit of both. Their responses are quite torn, it seems‐they seemingly must deal with both increasing doubts about god as well as increasing faith, however strange that might sound. Personally one of the greatest consolations in my own experience has been the realization that I actually do believe in god. I have been reminded over and over of the powerful ending to the sermon on the mount in Matthew 7, where Jesus describes a storm hitting two different kinds of houses, one built on sand, the other on solid rock. Over these eight years, I have been thankful so many times to realize that there was a little bit of rock underneath my life. At times I have even wondered why my wife Hiroko and I have continued to believe. I often ask why we were fortunate enough to have something real underneath our feet while others discover when challenged by similar disasters that their beliefs were no more real to them than fairy tales. Here the certainty dies away because I do not really have an answer.

YOU CAN KEEP THE BOND WITH YOUR LOVED ONE

As study after study indicates survivors hold the dead in loving memory for long periods often forever. I imagine that Hiroko and I will go to our own graves holding Daniel in our memories and remembering him almost as if he were still with us‐partly because on some level we believe he really is. Even more importantly I have embraced a new way of thinking about my loss. It boils down to the fact that we need never simply “let go and move on.” In fact through much contact with grieving parents I have noted that surviving parents describe how the dead child will continue to live on in their hearts and thus act as a motivation for giving back to society by survivors. The focus on a continuing bond with the dead reveals a belief in the possibility of human redemption in the face of tragedy is documented repeatedly in the stories that grievers tell about the memory of their loved ones. Much evidence for example shows how survivors many times become more compassionate and merciful after a loss. Often memories of the dead have spurred grievers on to good works that benefit humanity done as a legacy to the one they lost. In other words survivors do recognize that the bonds with the dead continue even after death. They know that the legacy of their loved one does not need to dwindle away into oblivion. Though some people might like to dismiss these sorts of sentiments as wishful thinking or worse they actually emerge from deeply held beliefs about the power of suffering, the motivational memory of the beloved and ultimately of a potential reunion.

TAKE HEART

I certainly do not wish to underestimate the experience of losing a loved one. Losing our son Daniel was a thunderclap of a blow. And the trauma of this grief is terrible and long‐lasting to be sure. Only these many years later my wife and I finally are managing to breathe more deeply and we have managed to continue our journey. Nevertheless the presence of Daniel is always there to keep me going, as sentimental as that might sound. I am also comforted that somehow miraculously we still remember god the one who holds all things together (Hebrews 1:3). And I am thankful that for me something real ‐‐‐god‐was underneath it all. Finally we do hold out hope for a reunion with our son. Until then and hopefully for long after our bond with Daniel will continue.

Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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When Bill complained of severe stomach pain the doctors removed his gallbladder. They discovered that the blockage was due not to stones but to cancer that had clogged the duct‐and invaded his liver. They decided to move him directly from the recovery room to the hospice unit. Bill’s wife collapsed in tears that did not stop for days. The son who had been distant from his dad for a number of years struggled with guilt. His daughter a nurse was afraid of what lay ahead for her dad. Bill himself had no intention of dying. He insisted moving out of the hospice unit and starting chemotherapy. “I can lick this thing,” he insisted.

Sorrow, guilt, fear of the future, denial- Bill and his family reacted to the news of his condition with very strong emotions, but none of them reacted in the same way. Each of them knew that a terrible loss lay ahead: they began to grieve over what was going to happen. If someone you love is terminally ill, you are also struggling with strong feelings. Your loved one is grieving, too for he or she faces leaving everyone dear behind. Watching a loved one suffer and decline is one of life’s most trying experiences. You wonder how in the world you are going to live through this ordeal‐and how you are going to go on without a person who has been such an important part of your life.

The road that lies ahead of you may be the hardest you have ever traveled. At the same time it offers many opportunities to enrich you life and the time that remains to the person you love.

When something that just “can’t happen” looms on the horizon our instinctive reaction is to refuse to believe it is true. We tell ourselves that doctors make mistakes that surely there’s some miracle cure just around the corner that the god who has always been so good to us will provide a miracle. While we may take some comfort in such thoughts, and we have every reason to seek additional opinions and reasonable treatments, if we end up in complete denial of the situation, that only adds to the suffering. The wiser course is to allow yourself to gently accept reality as it presents itself and gently lead other family members to do the same, including the person who is so seriously ill. At the same time don’t expect everyone to be on the same page. The grief all of you are feeling can give rise to many different emotions. One person may respond with anger‐not really at you, but at the situation. Another may be busily trying to strike a bargain with god while someone else may be paralyzed by depression. Allow people to be where they need to be without criticism.

You will need support for you need to take care of two people‐your loved one and yourself. Ask you faith community and your friends to pray for the strength you will need. No one knows exactly how you feel. But other people have gone through a similar struggle, and they can tell you how they coped. Search for a support group in your area. Organizations concerned with particular diseases (the American cancer society and the alzheimer’s association for example) also offer support to family members. The hospice movement offers tender care for the dying at home or in the hospital and loving support for families. Medical and pastoral personnel and volunteers will do everything possible to keep an ill person comfortable. In addition they will help you understand what to expect and provide necessary opportunities for you to leave the bedside to run errands, keep appointments or just take a break. “We can’t control what may lie ahead or what lies behind but we can live fully in what is now.” Friends want to help but they won’t know what to do unless you tell them. They can’t make the hurt go away, but they can help make life a little easier for you in many ways. Ask them to help with meals, give you a break from the bedside, lend a hand with household chores or just be there to listen or to give you a hug. Wrap yourself in their affection and use their shoulders to cry on when that’s what you need to do. Most of all keep in touch with god. Trust yourself to the most loving arms of all. Speak and pray your fear, your sorrow, even your anger (God can take it).

Even people who love each other clearly inflict hurt on each other, that’s human nature. We take the people close to us so much for granted that we sometimes neglect to treat them as well as we would the most casual acquaintances. Even the happiest relationships know careless moments. Probably neither you nor your loved one can name many of these, although you surely know small ways in which you have bugged each other over the years. Seek an opportunity to admit your human frailty and to express the hope that you have never inflicted serious harm. You needn’t grovel: begin with saying how deep your love has always been and how much you hope the other person has known that even when you didn’t show it very well. Where a serious rift exists now is a good time to try for a bit of healing. Reach out and extend an invitation to visit. The dying person may once have held enormous power to inflict hurt, but that power is ebbing away with his or her life. Just seeing that person become helpless can assuage long‐held bitter feelings. (Trust me on this one I’ve been there.)

Take heart!

You will of course face grief after death comes but using this time well will make it easier. You will have already begun the work that mourning entails. And the loving god who gave you the strength to make it through this final time will still be with your gently guiding you to wholeness and happiness.

Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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BE SURE YOUR FAMILY RECEIVES THE BENEFITS YOU’VE EARNED

Most of us plan for the years when we no longer need to, want to, or cannot work.  It is a necessity we cannot afford to ignore.  The federal and state governments have programs such as Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid to which we all contribute while working.  Being informed as to what we have earned and making sure we receive these important benefits is part of “Being Prepared.“ There are other important aspects to being prepared, such as preparing a Will and making funeral arrangements.

WHERE TO START

Knowing where to start can help make planning easier.  Although this brochure cannot answer all of your questions, it will highlight the main steps for you. We find once families know what to do, planning is not difficult.  As funeral directors, we are able to assist with the details and answer questions you may have about government death benefits and funeral planning.  No matter what you decide to do first, it’s important to start now, today.

WHY YOU SHOULD PLAN

We plan for every aspect of life. Having a family, vacations, weddings, and retirement are all things we plan. We prepare for what might happen such as fires, accidents or floods.  But, because most of us do not like to think about death- we avoid making important funeral decisions in advance. Now more than ever, it is important to plan ahead. Our way of life is more complicated. Family members often live in different states, dealing with government agencies can be frustrating, and every household feels the impact of inflation.

Family members making funeral arrangements immediately following a death often are confused and upset. Many times, they do not have the information needed to claim benefits. Each year millions of dollars in government and insurance benefits go unclaimed.  Planning ahead prevents emotional overspending and protects your
family’s interests.

FOUR  GOOD  REASONS  FOR  MAKING  FUNERAL  ARRANGEMENTS  IN  ADVANCE

1.  Your Family

Without a doubt the most important reason for making funeral and other estate arrangements in advance is to spare your family this task at a difficult time.  There are over 50 decisions to be made when arranging a funeral.  Making these decisions today, with the help of those close to you, lets you make logical, well thought out plans that your family will appreciate.

2.  Lower Costs

Though not a requirement, you may wish to invest in a funeral trust account or final expense insurance policy when making funeral arrangements. While most of us have life insurance or funds reserved for retirement, these are intended for the living, not to meet the cost of a funeral.

In most situations, funds invested today will be sufficient to cover the total cost of the funeral at time of need. The interest earned by the account or policy will help to offset the effects of inflation. Government regulations safeguard your investment so that funds will always be available for your family’s use.

3.  Securing Benefits

With the number of revisions in government benefits over the years, it is important for each person to be aware of these changes and how to protect those benefits.

• Social Security Upon death, dependents and survivors may be eligible for certain benefits such as Death Payments, Survivor’s Benefits and Medicare. Qualifications depend on age, marital status, number of dependents involved and if employment was under Social Security.  Your Social Security account should be  verified periodically to be sure contributions are properly posted.  All benefits must be applied for; payment is not automatic. Since qualifications vary, we recommend discussing your particular situation with us personally.
• Veteran’s Benefits There are many misconceptions regarding Veterans’ death benefits.  Honorably discharged veterans may qualify for cemetery plot and burial allowances, headstone, and burial flag, as well as a pension for survivors. These benefits may affect decisions about funeral  arrangements. Because qualifications and benefits vary, we recommend a personal review of your situation.
• Medicaid Few people are aware of provisions under Federal Title 19 where an individual can shelter funds to serve the family later by providing for funeral arrangements. We can explain these options to you.

4.  Peace Of Mind

We often have special wishes as to where to be buried, who is to receive our personal effects, and how we are to be memorialized.  Making funeral arrangements today permits time for you to tend to every detail. You gain the confidence that results from making unhurried, informed decisions. Plus, your family and others who care for you will be assured the arrangements reflect your true wishes.

Planning ahead…you have true peace of mind knowing you have taken care of everything.

HOW TO PLAN

Investigate

Most people are unsure how to secure benefits and to be certain everything will be carried out according to their wishes.  Often people delay making a Will because they feel they have little to leave behind.  Yet, a Will is vital to insure belongings are properly distributed and to avoid excess taxes.  A Will allows you to name an executor-someone in which you have confidence- to carry out your wishes. You should have an attorney prepare your Will to be certain legal requirements are met.

Legal procedures following death are also confusing.  For example, since a Will is most often read and administered after the funeral, the practical, safe approach is to have a separate document for funeral requests.

Arranging a funeral is involved with over 50 decisions that must be made. Decisions that are an added burden for family members when dealing with grief over the loss of a loved one.

By speaking with one of our qualified funeral planning counselors, you will have taken the most important step towards “being prepared.”

Organize

We all have documents and information which others would have trouble locating: military discharge papers, Social Security numbers, bank accounts, safety deposit box keys, insurance policies, relatives’  addresses. All of these items must be organized to eliminate frustrating hours of searching and to be certain everything will be found.  Insurance companies report that life insurance benefits are often unclaimed because survivors were unaware a policy existed.  The diary in this booklet will help you organize your personal information.  And, we can assist you in making a permanent record of your wishes.

Consider

No matter what your final wishes, planning in advance permits choices and valuable input from those closest to you. Some considerations for your funeral service are listed below. Your decisions can be recorded in the diary pages at the back of this guide.

1. Have you selected a cemetery or memorial location?
2. Have you prepaid the funeral service?
3. Are certain religious or fraternal customs to be followed?
4. Do you wish a military service?
5. Do you prefer a particular charity as a recipient of memorial gifts?
6. Do you wish to name pallbearers?
7. Do you wish to be buried in particular clothing or jewelry?
8. Are there any special readings, biblical passages, or musical selections you prefer?
9. Would you prefer a casket of metal or hardwood, protective or non-protective?
10. What type of monument or marker do you prefer?

This list is far from complete, but it gives you an idea of the many decisions involved when planning a funeral. Our services help you make the decisions right for you.

Decide

To protect your family, you will want to make some decisions and arrangements. As experienced funeral directors, we can assist you in all stages of planning, from completing paperwork to helping and counseling the bereaved.  We retain a complete record of your plans to insure they are carried out on your behalf.

A funeral trust account or final expense insurance is not a requirement of pre-arrangement, but the benefits merit serious consideration.  By deciding on funeral cost now, you help your family avoid emotional overspending and safeguard life insurance benefits.

Finally, be sure to advise your family of your decisions and the arrangements you have made. Knowing everything is taken care of will give both you and your family peace of mind.

QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE:

What If I Move?

Your funeral plans can be transferred at any time if you should move. We can even recommend a reputable funeral home in your new community. Through pre-arrangement, you can be confident your wishes will be fulfilled wherever you may live.

What If I Die Away From Home?

If you are traveling or visiting another city when death occurs, your survivors should contact our funeral home immediately.  We will make the necessary arrangements with a funeral home in that location to assist with transfer.

What If I Change My Mind?

Our funeral home is established upon service to families. We respect  your wishes at all times and work hard to meet the special needs and requests from you and your family, both when planning ahead and at time of need. Together we can develop plans to meet your current needs.

What If Your Funeral Home Would Not Be In Business?

You can be assured your funds are protected by state and federal regulations regardless of the operation at our funeral home.  However, our funeral home has a long-standing reputation and is committed to continuing to serve the many families who have placed their trust in us.

Are Funerals Expensive?

The cost of a funeral depends on what you prefer.  We offer many services to choose from and a wide selection of caskets, vaults, and other memorials. Part of “being prepared” is knowing the cost so you will feel comfortable with the selections you make.  We are willing to discuss specific cost with you. Advance planning also helps you prepare for the expense and permits you to set aside the funds over a period of time.

What Type Of Funeral Service Do Most Families Select?

Most people prefer a traditional funeral.  However, we offer many other choices to make the service meaningful to the family.  Memorial services, musical request, cremation, military and fraternal tributes are just a few of the options we make available.  We try to honor any special preferences or requests.

What About Monuments And Memorials?

Often families prefer to arrange for monuments or memorials in advance.  It is important for you to find out the differences in quality, material, and workmanship as well as cemetery requirements before the need arises.

AS YOU PREPARE FOR THE FUTURE…

The personal choices you make now, with clarity of mind and concern for others, are once in a lifetime decisions.  We want you to know that you can depend on us for the professional guidance you expect.

As funeral directors, we are trained to provide personal, specialized attention to all the responsibilities surrounding death and funeral services.  We will help you consider your options and organize your plans.

Contact Cremation Options to talk about funeral planning or with any questions you may have.

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