CREMATION OPTIONS

Recently after an uncle’s funeral, I strode along a ridge among the graves of my ancestors. Many of my great aunts and uncles, my grandparents and close friends of the family are buried in the same section of a cemetery in Chicago. Lately I’d been thinking that burial plots were a waste of good ground and that I didn’t really care what happened to me when I died-the less fuss the better. But as I walked among my people I felt something I’ve never felt so strongly before-my connection to them, and their connection to the future through me. I came to appreciate the rituals and traditions that surround the funerals in our family, and I began to think of how I might want my passing to be marked. I realized these “last rites” could matter greatly to me and they were worth my time and thought. Yet many of us are not quite sure how to proceed.

WORKING YOUR WAY THROUGH

Making funeral arrangements has a lot in common with preparing for a baptism, bar mitzvah, wedding, or significant anniversary. Like these other milestones, a person’s passing is a major event in the lives of loved ones. But because the details surrounding a death occur at a time of tremendous stress, it makes sense to make as many arrangements in advance as you can. The better you plan, the less likely the stress of the moment and the crush of details-not to mention the shock of your loss-will overwhelm you and the occasion will turn out as you hope. Many people would rather not think about death and funeral arrangements. But there are strong emotional, social and financial reasons to make funeral arrangements in advance. Here are a few suggestions.

EXPLORE ALL YOUR OPTIONS

Though every culture has its traditional set of funeral rituals, cremation rites and practices no two funerals are exactly alike. Nor should they be. Funeral rites ought to reflect the life and values o the individual who has died, and the survivors he or she has left behind. By acting in advance you can think through the available choices to find the options that are right for you. Will you choose interment, cremation, or entombment in a mausoleum? Are there special visitation arrangements that need to be accommodated? Will you have a religious service and if so who will officiate? If you act in advance you can have many of your questions answered. You can read and research, inquire with friends as well as funeral professionals, and challenge assumptions you may have. Many people carry around erroneous notions about what is and isn’t allowed at funerals. When making advance funeral arrangements-for yourself or a loved one for whom you’re responsible-you’ll be called upon to make many significant decisions, But you cannot exercise choice wisely if you don’t know what your options are. By acting in advance of need, you’re in the best position to examine questions in depth, give them significant thought, consult with others whose feelings you need to consider, and come to decisions with which you can be satisfied.

HAVE IT YOUR WAY

Would you like a certain song sung at the funeral, or a meaningful poem or scripture passage read? Will you want to be buried in the town where you now live, or buried near loved ones in your home town? How much do you want to spend on a casket? Do you want a longtime friend or family member to give a eulogy? The list goes on. Funerals are for the living and in memory of the deceased. Funerals are not for the edification of the preacher, the exclusive domain of the funeral director or to fulfill someone else’s idea of decorum and appropriateness. If you want a specific thing to happen at your funeral the only way to be sure it will happen is to make your wishes clear in advance best of all, in writing. Arrange it now. You can always change it later.

ENLIST THE HELP OF A PROFESSIONAL PARTNER

A good first step is to talk with a funeral director you trust. If you don’t have a family funeral director, spend some time selecting one who’s right for you. Funeral directors say the number one service they offer is active listening to help the bereaved make decisions that are appropriate for them. What you’re looking for is someone who will truly listen and respond to your needs and wishes. You might begin by making a list of three funeral directors and interviewing each by phone. After a follow-up visit with the one(s) you feel most comfortable with, choose the one who is the most open and instills the most confidence in you. Turn to someone who will listen first advise second. A good funeral director can handle a myriad of paperwork, mountains of official forms, and an array of details-all as you would have them handled. When a loved one dies, the survivors are bound to be very vulnerable. Emotions will run strong, and handling even the simplest details can be an enormous challenge. At such a time, a professional partner who can handle the arrangements according to your wishes will free up survivors to enter into the grieving process. A competent and caring funeral director can carry out your hopes and desires for the funeral ceremonies and do so with respect, dignity and within your means. There are a number of details you may want to review in advance with a funeral director: what’s on your grave marker, whether you want to indicate a charity as a recipient of memorial donations; who you’d like to have as pall bearers: whether to have a ceremony in a church, at the graveside, or in the home of a friend weeks after your death. You can even indicate what you would like mentioned in your obituary.

KEEP COSTS REASONABLE AND CLEAR

Society puts a cloak of silence around death, so many of us are uninformed about the arrangements that need to be made at the time of death. When making funeral arrangements, it’s essential that you leave no question unasked or unanswered. It’s important to find the right balance between providing the appropriate kind of sendoff and keeping costs within the limits you can afford. Set up a fact-finding appointment with your funeral director, cemetery director or other service provider. Ask to have a cost sheet sent in advance so you can prepare your questions. Funeral professionals provide a service and should be paid for that service. But those paying for that service should know in advance what services are being provided, what the full costs are, and what other options are available. Feel free to ask for additional options on caskets, embalming, and other services. Question charges you don’t understand. If after the explanation you remain uncertain, call another funeral
director or your state’s funeral directors’ association to verify that the charge is appropriate. Practically speaking attending to a loved one’s funeral arrangements in advance may find you in a better situation to handle the finances. This is especially true if the loved one may be heading to a nursing home where the cost of care may totally deplete family savings, leaving little or nothing with which to pay for the funeral.

SAVE YOUR SURVIVORS ADDED BURDENS

My father worked for Catholic cemeteries in Chicago for 42 years. He began his career in sales. He was responsible for setting up a pre- need sales program in the early 1950’s. Often when he would arrive at a home to discuss advance funeral arrangements, people would be reluctant to even think about the day such arrangements would be needed. Through the years however countless family members have come up to my father thanking him for the time and effort he took with their family years before. In their time of mourning details were already in place and decisions already made. They were grateful that when the hour had arrived they were found prepared.

TAKE HEART

Anyone who has suddenly been responsible for handling the details of a death where no pre- arrangements have been made knows the overwhelming number of decisions that are involved. At a time of loss, confusion reigns. We can feel pulled in many directions at once, especially if we’re uncertain what the deceased would have wanted. Making your funeral arrangements in advance is one last wonderful gift you can give the love ones who will be left behind. By freeing them from the burden of many details, you give them time to do the work of grieving and caring for one another. Meanwhile, the rites surrounding your funeral can be a statement of your values and the meaning you found in life and death.

Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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The practice of cremating a deceased person has existed for centuries. After cremation services, the ashes of the deceased were stored in urns. At some point in time, cremation was restricted to the affluent sections of our society. However, in the present time it is an environmentally viable and popular choice. In addition, many people are also looking for ways to preserve the memoirs of a deceased loved one. Often, people look for ways to keep the memories of a loved one close to the heart and alive in their mind.

Cremation jewelry provides you comfort by maintaining a physical connection with the loved one. A few people find solace in holding the ashes of a loved one close to their heart. Displaying a cremation memento as a memorial to a loved one or wearing an ash pendant is personal. It is definitely a better alternative than visiting a columbarium or gravesite. Often, families can share the ashes and get an appropriate piece of jewelry for each member. This allows you to memorialize the deceased. Extremely small quantities of ashes are placed within a sealed compartment in the jewelry.

When majority of the people think about cremation jewelry, they visualize ash pendants worn in the form of cremation necklaces. While it is true that most pieces of cremation jewelry fit the description, other forms of memorial jewelry are also available that are discreet and attractive. Cremation necklaces remain the most attractive form of jewelry. Not only does it adorn your neck, but also helps in maintaining a connection with a departed loved one. Generally, any piece of jewelry includes a small compartment that holds a small quantity of cremated ashes.

Depending upon the selected style, the ashes could be shown or hidden inside the jewelry. These pieces of jewelry could be cremation necklaces, pins and bracelets. The cremated ashes could also be incorporated into crystals and displayed in an extensive array of sizes and colors.

There can be many varieties of cremation necklaces. Select a distinct design, shape and size according to your choice. Moreover, the availability of different designs allows you to have a plethora of options to choose from.

Gold and silver necklaces are available in all themes. The pendant of your necklace can also take several distinct shapes. Your necklace need not be made of something as costly as gold or silver. Instead you can also opt for some cost-effective options. When the jewelry is worn discreetly, it looks as beautiful as any other necklace worn for fashion!

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Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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Shrinking profits, changing neighborhoods and the escalating price of real estate are some of the problems that face those in the funeral service profession. Years ago many chose to simply relocate their funeral home to follow migration patterns of the families they serve. But today’s funeral service professional may be finding that it is better to stay where you are and serve your clientele in your current market area. Serving emerging markets can be done easily and effectively. If you want to remain in your current market area, if you want to serve those around you but the area has changed.

FIND OUR WHO IS IN YOUR COMMUNITY

Finding out who lives in your community is an essential beginning. Many of us drive to work each day and then drive home without noticing what is going on around us. Many of us haven’t taken a look around our communities in a long time to find out who is now living and doing business around our funeral homes. Finding out who lives in your neighborhood gives you a starting point for marketing your business and possibly for the types of services you might offer, too. The first step is to take a walk around your neighborhood. See who is living there. Don’t just look at a business note the apartments above the business and who occupies them. Notice also the types of businesses that are operating, as well as those that have closed. Businesses are indicators as to who lives in the community and who comes into the community for services. As much as the people who live in your community are potential clients so too are the people who travel into that community for services. Another way to find out who is in the neighborhood is to canvas the churches in the area.

I spent a few hours one afternoon in a 27 square block area around my funeral home, writing down church names and addresses. Doing this netted some surprising results. I found a monastery several emerging market congregations and several churches that had been in the neighborhood for a number of years and yet I had never done any business with them. I was able to create a database and now I communicate with these pastors and their congregations on a regular basis. Being able to correspond with these churches gives our firm increased visibility and a chance to serve. Look around at your local schools, and find out what the population of the school is like. Students of course have parents and you may want to concentrate your marketing and advertising in the languages of those who are in the school system. Reaching out in a foreign language proves that you are willing to serve. Finally consider using the U.S. Census (www.factfindre.census.gov) for information on population and economic trends. This information can be accessed by zip code and is fairly up to date. This site also allows you to chart population increases and decreases, home ownership, median family income, level of education and much more.

NAMING YOUR ESTABLISHEMENT

Most funeral homes are named after the owner. However a change in name may better include entire community, demonstrating that you are willing to serve everyone. I once served an Islamic family from West Africa. They said they were hesitant to patronize my funeral home because of the name: Churchman. They thought I only provided services for people who went to church. While this might be an extreme example, it is worth consideration. Many funeral homes are shedding their ethnic identities and taking on names that reflect who they now serve. Take a look around in your market to see if there are any funeral homes designated “funeraia” “capillias” “jewish chapels” or “multinational.” At a minimum consider adding information to your business card that shows a willingness to serve, such as “serving all faiths” or international shipping.

ENVIROMENT SCANNING

Is your funeral home environment one that is friendly to all who enter? Consider an environment scan. The environment of your funeral home is comprised of art work, magazines, photos and signage. Is your signage easy for everyone to read? Consider using universal signage that has no words, only pictures. For example take a look at the signs for public rest rooms and you will notice that ever present male or female picture telling who may enter. Use Readers Digest as an example. The magazine comes in Spanish as well as English and large print versions. If you have a large Spanish speaking population in your community, consider subscribing to a Spanish language magazine. Take a look at the art work on your walls. If it’s not all landscapes and seascapes is it reflective of those who live in your community? Your funeral home should be a welcoming place for everyone in the area. Art work is a simple way to provide that welcome a focal point and a conversation starter.

LEARNING ABOUT NEW RELIGIONS AND FUNERAL CUSTOMS

There is no reason to be put off about new religions and cultural customs. Again start with the very basics. If you are confused or don’t understand as someone. The logical place to begin asking questions is with the family you are serving, with a friend of the family or with the clergy person who is serving the family. Review those mortuary school text books on religions; they will give you a helpful starting place. Read, read and read again all relevant material on ethnic and religious funeral customs. Learn the background of the country so you can converse with the family in a knowledgeable manner. You may want to hire someone from the community who can serve as a community liaison as well as a translator.

BEING THERE AND GIVING SUPERB SERVICE

Now that you have identified the markets you wish to serve, get out there and mingle with people. Attend family and community celebrations. Think about advertising in ethnic media (in the language that media is targeted for). Have celebrations at your funeral home or sponsor celebrations especially those that are particular to a certain ethnic group. For example if you are serving a Mexican community consider having a Dia de Muertos (day of the dead) celebration or giving out information about this celebration. Gary Laderman associate professor of religion at Emory University, wrote in his book, “Rest in Peace: a Cultural History of Death and the Funeral Home in 20th Century America,” that …..funeral directors in addition to all these other things they provide are some sort of …cultural repositories in the sense that they
know these (funeral) traditions. Funeral directors often have to advise second and third generation families on proper funeral rituals. Become a repository of knowledge. Remember that a funeral service professional is there to serve. In providing service to people from emerging markets, think of how you would want to be treated. Families are often uncertain of funeral traditions and accommodations that can be made for them in their new surroundings. While families will often want to cling to what is familiar in terms of funeral services they must understand what is possible in the current environment. With explanations and give and take most families can have the type of services they desire. Make sure during the arrangement process you go slowly and explain what may be very commonplace to you. Act as if you want the business not as if the family is an inconvenience for you. That said you must decide what you will or will not allow in your funeral home. For example will you remove furnishings such as photos, mirrors and fixed seating if asked? Are you in a state that allows food in the funeral home? If so are you willing to serve food to families? Are you willing to stay open all night for viewings if requested? Having a policy for families on these and other matters will prove helpful.
Another element to consider when service first generation immigrant families: many of these families will choose to ship loved one “home.” It is easy to become proficient in international shipping simply by reading and contacting the consulate from the county of the deceased. Remember that remains may lay‐over for more than a day in intermediate airports. Remains may be in less than optimal situations in the receiving country and there may be extended time between death and time of final disposition. It is essential to use excellent embalming protocols. With preparation, planning and a desire to serve humankind you too can provide excellent service to emerging markets in your service area. Ready? Set? Serve.

Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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My father’s death in 1995 was my first experience of deep grief. Other relatives and friends had died, of course, and I had experienced various kinds of grief other than death. But Dad’s death left a vacuum unlike anything I had known.

As I talked about my sadness and grief with others, I received plenty of warmhearted and well intended guidance, often of a contradictory nature. For example, one person said, “Now be sure to get plenty of rest,” while another said, “You’re going to want to stay busy”; one person said, “Relocate to be closer to your mother,” and another said, “Don’t make any major decisions right now.” After months of listening to these kind directives, I realize that I was not following any of them; rather, I was grieving in my own way. My quiet, contemplative temperament was drawing me toward nature, to take long walks along wooded pathways; my love of books was drawing me toward reading; my passion for writing was driving me to record family history and personal emotions. In my own way, I was moving toward peacefulness with regard to the vacuum that my father’s death had left. I missed him deeply‐I always will‐ but because I was grieving in my own way, the physical absence of my father was losing its power to make the void a dark, forbidding, and painful place.

To be alive is to experience loss: the death of a loved one, the loss of a valued friendship, deterioration of our bodies, a decline in our sense of financial security, a realization that the God of our prayer is not, in fact, the God of our lived experience. As a result of these losses, we grieve. Sometimes, our grief is acute; in our walking moments we are distracted with the pain, and in our sleep we are haunted with the sense of darkness. At other times, our grief is subtle; we’re not even aware that we are grieving, and thus go about doing what we need to do to take care of ourselves. “I didn’t realize how much my son’s starting kindergarten was a time of grieving for me,” recalls Elsie. “then, at Thanksgiving, when I went to get our holiday tablecloth, I noted that I had done some thorough closet‐cleaning during the fall‐and I realized right then that I had thrown myself into some major housecleaning as a way of working through a sense of loss in Nathan’s going off to school.” The mental wellness field offers an abundance of good advice for those who grieve. This material is especially valuable because it usually gives careful consideration to a person’s age and the kind of loss being grieved. Despite its value, however, such advice will prove of little merit if we do not keep in mind that, ultimately, we must grieve in our own way.

Grieve according to your personality. I tend to be an introvert; you may be more of an extrovert. I tend to enjoy cold, dark, rainy days; you may dread the gloom. I tend to tire quickly when in a crowd; you may draw energy from being around people. These are personality differences. They are the way we are in life, and they bear heavily on the way we grieve. Take a careful inventory of what kind of person you are, and tailor your grief accordingly. The advice of family, friends, and experts will be valuable only if you apply it according to your personality. Choose things that fit your nature and that capitalize on your strengths and minimize your weakness.

“Grief can’t be shared. Everyone carries it alone, his own burden, his own way.”

Recall how you’ve grieved in the past. Think of a time when you grieved a subtle loss, and let that suggest how you might grieve an acute loss. For example, I always grieve when my children leave after being with me over the holidays. As I hug and kiss the last one goodbye, I close the door, turn to face the empty, quiet house, and say to myself, Now what? Invariably, I head for the gifts the children gave me. I finger each one, recall the joy in opening it, and imagine what I will do with it or where I’ll put it. In those subtle moments of loss, I remember the past and look ahead at the same time. That very same pattern helped me grieve my father’s death. I recorded all I could remember about special moments with him, and I pondered how precious that written memoir would be to my children and grandchildren some day in the future, when I’m no longer around to share my memories and tell my stories.

Ritualize. Rituals such as funeral services are those symbolic gestures we perform to help us make real that which is too much for us to comprehend. Rituals express life’s mystery and meaning, and can take many shapes. They can be extravagant or simple; they can involve others or just ourselves; they can include tangible objects or mere images in our minds. As you grieve, turn to those rituals that have meaning for you. Rich recalls how lighting a small candle each morning helped him grieve the loss of his job. “I just lit a candle each morning before I opened the Want Ads, and that seemed to help me face the fact that I had lost something important to me‐and that there was, for sure, light at the end of the tunnel.”

Grieve with an image. Think about people you admire and who have faced serious grief, and hold their image as you grieve in your own way. “When my son was killed by a drunken driver in an automobile accident,” shares Renee, “I thought of Mary, the mother of Jesus. Her son, too, died unjustly. I thought of how she must have sobbed deeply and raged with anger, and although I still hurt awfully, I felt like I was really with someone who knew what I was going through.” The heroic spirit of others‐people you may know personally or only know ofcan be intimate companions as you grieve your own personal loss in your own way. A friend recalls how gentle rain fell during his mother’s funeral. A relative turned to him and said, “We Irish believe a little rain at the funeral is a good thing; it’s the tears of heaven. And you’ll know your mother’s at peace when you see your next rainbow.” Nine months later, on the morning of Mother’s Day, he saw a rainbow. And every rainbow since has brought a smile to his face and comfort to his heart. Search your own memory for an image or object that was special to your loved one, or that helps you bring your loved one to mind‐ a favorite flower, a memorable song, an oft‐quoted poem, a special recipe. Find a way to hold onto that special “icon,” and let it bring you comfort and joy.

Grieve according to your own personal expectations. Nowhere will you find a universal list of “grief’s,” for that which saddens one person may be of little consequence to another. When my sister’s cat died, for example, her sobbing moved me deeply, but I would not experience the death of one of my cats to that same degree. Yet, when the cat was dying, we both knew what to expect; my sister knew she would “fall apart,” and I knew I would hold her hand while she cried. What do you expect of yourself? After all, no one knows that better than you. The fact that your employer gives you three “bereavement days” at the death of a close family member, for example, does not mean that you are finished grieving when you
return to work. Grieve what you need to grieve, in your own way, in your own time.

Grief, like any emotion, is your own‐no one else’s. No one can determine for you what you will grieve or how you will grieve. You can turn to others for support and practical advice, of course, and this, in fact, is wise. Family and friends can offer comfort, and experts can guide you with healthy counsel. No one is an island, as we learned from poet John Donne. But you would do yourself a grave disservice if you were to heed the directives of others without checking in with the foremost expert on your grief‐you.

Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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Cremation Options considers this: the telephone rings. The woman on the other end informs you that there has been a death in the family and she would like your firm to handle the funeral arrangements. You offer her your sincerest condolences. You thank her for placing her trust in you, take some pertinent first call information and set up an appointment. Then you assure her that you will do everything in your power to see that placing her trust in you was the best decision she could possibly make. The daunting task of living up to your assurances begin.

As funeral practitioners we all know what this entails, so I won’t get into details, but I will says with absolute certainty, the moment of truth arrives when you greet that family and escort them into the reposing room. I have been a licensed funeral director in the State of New York for over 32 years, but I learned a most valuable lesson in my rookie season. We received a death call in the middle of the night and met the family in the morning. The deceased was a 53 year‐old woman who had succumbed to lung cancer, which had metastasized to her liver. The daughter was extremely distraught when the rest of the family made her decision to view the remains in an open casket. “How could you! My mother was the most beautiful woman in the world. We can’t let anyone see her like that. We can’t she said. But the director explained to her that if she was not satisfied with the results that they would simply close the casket. The next day I met the family for the first viewing. I could see how apprehensive the daughter was. I took her by the hand and we walked up to the casket. She gazed down at her mother. “Oh my god,” she screamed. In most cases we might wonder why she screamed, was she horrified or what? But I knew the answer. I looked at her face and saw the gigantic tears running down her checks, but she had a wondrous smile. “Johnny, look at how beautiful mommy is.” I took my sister in my arms and hugged her.

It’s been over 30 years since I walked into that chapel with my sister and not a single day has gone by that I haven’t thought of her. It is that final lasting impression of my sister’s tears of joy that has driven me over the years to elicit the same response from each and every one of the families who entrust their loved ones with us. There are many factors to take into consideration when talking about cosmetics and I will get into some of those. But I would be remiss if I did not touch on a subject that is the first step in creating an aesthetically pleasing, life like appearance of human remains. Embalming the simple most important job performed in any mortuary. This is when it all starts.

Rarely have I ever seen a poorly embalmed body look better just from the application of cosmetics. Every artist needs something to work on. Our medium is both a sculpture and a canvas. First we sculpt the features of the face then we paint on them. This is where the cosmetologist is going to perform his or her artistry. We have to start out with the best sculpture and canvas to work on, and it’s the embalmers responsibility to supply us with one. I was taught that in the art of embalming that there are pre‐and post‐embalming techniques.

Over the years far too many embalmers have gotten them juxtaposed. Shaving (woman included since cosmetics are hard to apply and do not look good on peach fuzz) and the setting of the facial features are pre‐embalming techniques. There is no reason to raise an artery and begin injecting a body before you set the features when you should be worrying about drainage and fluid distribution.

How can you worry about those things if you have to shave the body, close the eyes and mouth at the same time? Take your time; use all of your knowledge, skill and resources. Remember it might be you escorting that family member into the chapel. How do you want them to react when they get up to the casket? Ladies and gentlemen, that’s what they call a “no brainer.” Post‐embalming techniques are just as important as pre‐embalming techniques.

Over 75 percent of the cases you will prepare require some degree of hypodermic subcutaneous feature building. Most of the time it will only be necessary to inject a few ccs of feature builder to the temporal areas and behind the eyes to get the desired effects, which is simple enough. In cases of extreme emaciation, a great deal of work is called for. The zygomatic arches, jaw line, above the eyebrows, the bridge of the nose, the neck line, under the chin, even the hands, are places which I would consider injecting. Remember anything that you can do to contribute to the final product is a tremendous help to the cosmetician.

Choosing a foundation color; this is the easy part. Or is it? You’ve asked the family to bring in a picture of the deceased and they bring you a wedding photo taken 40 years earlier. What help is that? You can do everyone a favor by asking the family at the time of the first call, that when they come in to make the funeral arrangements, they bring with the burial clothes as many photos as possible of the deceased. Every family that I have ever asked has been more than happy to oblige. The more photos, the easier it is to choose the right color. If this is not possible, your knowledge of the person’s ethnic background is a good indicator of their correct skin tone. Lighting: When we enter a reposing room for the purpose of cosmetic application, the first thing that we should concern ourselves with is the lighting. I strongly recommend applying cosmetics in the room where the body is going to be viewed. Any difference in the type (natural or artificial) or intensity of the light is going to make a huge difference. Be sure to get the desired results by making up the body in the exact light the remains are going to be viewed under. Also watch out for the night man or doorman because they love to turn on the lights to high.

The difference could be night or day. When viewing the body in more than one location, such as the funeral home and a church, most of the time, we are aware of the change in the lighting. I will never forget the first time I took a body that looked perfect in the funeral home and placed it on the altar in a brand new church under the biggest skylight on the sunniest day of the year. I cringed in horror. You may consider taking a small cosmetic bag with you to the church in order to make any necessary adjustments. The smaller the bag, the less likely the family or anyone else close by will notice. If you have co‐workers or some pallbearers with you as you are setting up the body for the viewing, have them gather around to shield any onlookers from seeing what you are doing.

Cosmetic application: If you want to learn how to apply cosmetics, and this is not part of your daily routine for yourself, you may want to spend some time with someone who does a sister, mother or a girlfriend. It might sound stupid but believe me this can be quite educational. What makes the applications of cosmetics more difficult are some of the more extreme morbid conditions we might encounter. For example trauma, severe emaciation, tumors and our worst nightmare, jaundice. And for all of you who choose to shave a body during or after arterial injection, razor burns can also cause problems. These conditions will require a greater deal of expertise and knowledge of what kinds and types of cosmetics to use. To apply cosmetics I prefer using a medium stiff bristled brush. For the times when a surface restoration wax is used and cosmetics are applied with a brush, I freeze the wax with a can of compressed air held upside down; this procedure hardens the wax and makes it easier to apply. It also reduces the making of the wax by the brush marks will be nil. I have shown this technique to a great deal of people and they never cease to be amazed by it. Don’t forget to stipple the wax before you freeze it. If you like to smooth out the lips with a wax as I do, you will find this idea very useful.

There are five kinds of cosmetics in use in today’s mortuaries:

1. OIL BASED: These cosmetics up until the past 10 years or so, were the most popular. They provide good coverage but when applied heavily they tend to make the body look made up. How many times have we heard a family say, “don’t use a lot of makeup.”

2. LIQUID: These cosmetics work extremely well with your easiest cases but rarely are your cases that easy. Be careful when you use liquid cosmetics, though because they have a tendency to splash. You don’t want little dots of pink all over your pillow and interior.

3. AIRBRUSHED: These cosmetics afford the greatest degree of coverage possible. They also come in a wide selection of foundation colors and they can be applied as lightly or as heavily as needed. Highlighting is also an easy task with an airbrush. The cleanup is simple. It just takes a little more practice to become proficient at and it applies very easily to wax.

4. CREAM BASED: The advancements that the embalming fluid companies have made in fluids in the past 30 years is phenomenal. The results that we are able to achieve usually do not warrant the use of a heavy covering. I have noticed that many cosmetologists and funeral practitioners go to the local drug store to buy their cosmetics because they look a lot more natural, and the foundations come in a greater range of shades that are\ more likely to reflect the ethnicity of your business. The more diverse your business, the more shades you are going to need.

5. ARTERIAL DYES: I can remember one case I had 30 years ago. The man had been pronounced dead on a bus that was directly in front of the funeral home. I was injecting that body only 20 minutes after death. Rigor mortis was nowhere near beginning. The fluid distribution that was accomplished, I have never seen since. With all the red tape there is today before you get a case on the embalming table, the post mortem changes in the body make complete fluid distribution that much more difficult and mottling more likely. In cases of severe staining or jaundice, I always use a dye. I will take any help I can get. Biohazard Safety: This should always be taken into consideration when applying cosmetics. Areas where you are going to place cosmetics (this includes the hair as well) should be sterile as possible, not only to protect yourself but the family and public as well. You may want to use latex or vinyl gloves when applying cosmetics as well. When I walk through a reposing room, a chapel or a church it gives me tremendous satisfaction to hear mourners say to me, “I can’t believe it…he looks terrific,” or even “it’s a miracle” or simply “thank you.” Cosmetics choice and application can do that for you and your business. When a family you have served, and served well, experiences another death, you greatly increase the chance they will call upon your firm again. Isn’t that the idea?

Need more information about preparation of the body for funerals? Contact the caring professionals at Cremation Options at 1-877-989-9090 today.

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