CREMATION OPTIONS

If you are in the middle of grieving the loss of someone close to you, you don’t need a booklet to tell you that you are going through a difficult time. You don’t need someone else to tell you that your pain may at times feel overwhelming. Yet precisely because you are having a difficult time it is likely that you are not getting everything you need to help you move through this season of grief. And you may not even be aware of the kinds of things you have a right to experience and express and to expect of others during this difficult time.

Grieving well is an active process and it takes a lot of work. Here are some things you can consider your “rights” as you do the work of grieving.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE YOUR TIME

Things move quickly in our society from fast food to instant internet access. Grieving however takes time. Some people need more time than others to honor the process of grieving-lots more time. If you are one of those people take that time. You may have to tend to responsibilities at work and to family members or perhaps you have to deal with settling the affairs of the loved one who has died. But you still are a person in grief. Don’t feel obliged to “get over it” just because others don’t understand or share your loss or because they mistakenly believe that you should be able to get on with your life in a time frame that is convenient for them.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS

There is no one right way to grieve. And the process of grieving involves a wide variety of experiences and emotions that my include depression, anxiety, anger, disappointment and more. Professionals who specialize in working with grieving people suggest that it is helpful to have someone who can truly listen to you as you tell the stories of your loss. This can be a good friend, a counselor, or pastoral minister-anyone who has the ability to give you the full attention you need at this time. You may also want to express yourself in writing or music, or by creating some kind of tribute to the one who has died. Whatever your loss, you may notice feelings of anger surfacing from time to time, or even quite frequently. It is perfectly normal to feel this way, especially if your loss was sudden or the result of violence or if you have unfinished business with the one who has died. Sometimes we just feel cheated out of more time with our loved one. In any case you may be confused about what to do with your anger. When it comes to expressing anger, many of us lack good role models. We may have been told that anger is not “nice” and that we should stuff it. Or perhaps we’ve seen what badly expressed anger and rage can do to people (broken relationships, domestic violence, road rage, etc.) and have concluded that it might be better not to give our own anger too much attention. Yet ignoring anger doesn’t make it go away, at least not for long. You owe it to your spiritual and mental health to look for ways and places to express your anger that are safe and appropriate both for you and for others. Sometimes writing your feelings out in letter or journal format is a good option. Other times talking with a friend or a counselor is the way to go. Some people find it helpful to physically release the energy of their anger through vigorous exercise or by doing some manual labor. Whatever option you choose, most people find they feel much better when they get the anger out in a healthy, non destructive way rather than hold it in.

“Hope is hearing the melody of the future; faith is dancing to it today.”

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

A grieving person is more likely than others to become ill because of the toll the stress places on the body. Do your very best to take care of yourself by getting plenty of rest, eating well and exercising. Treat yourself to a massage or a soak in a hot bathtub. Keep fresh flowers in your house and drink plenty of water or herbal teas. Avoid medicating your pain with pills or heavy drinking. Not only will your body become more stressed by drinking or using drugs, you will only postpone working through your loss until a later date, as well as create a whole new set of problems.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE TIME OUT

You have a right to-and very likely a need for -time to yourself and by yourself. This time may be difficult to come by if you are parenting children or if you have a demanding job. Get creative. After her father’s death, June decided to get up a half-hour earlier than she previously had in order to carve time out from her busy life as a homemaker and mother. She used the time to pray, to cry and to write out her feelings in a journal in order to honor the tremendous loss she had experienced. At some point you may feel the need to “take some time off” from your grieving. Go to a movie, hike in the woods, take a vacation. It’s OK and even helpful to care for yourself in this way. You are probably feeling out of balance, so taking a little breather may be just what you need. It doesn’t mean that you have forgotten your loved one and it is not “disrespectful” to the one who has died, to take some time out to rejuvenate. This is especially important if you were a caretaker during your loved one’s illness.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXPECT SUPPORT

Although your experience of grieving is uniquely yours, you do not have to go through it alone. Grief shared with others can actually bring people closer together. Accept offers of help from family and friends. Call a grief counselor at a funeral home or cremation services. If you don’t have much of an appetite right now, freeze the food that people drop off and warm it up when you are hungry and don’t feel like cooking. Let someone run errands for you and even do some cleaning if they offer. If you belong to a faith community you may have some built in support through a prayer group or support group. Let your community know what you need. Most of the time people are eager to help.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO HEAL AND TO TRUST AGAIN

You may feel as if that place inside you that aches for your loved one will never be the same again. And you are right about that. You will never be the same. But you can head from the pain of your loss. And you have a right to that healing. People sometimes feel guilty when they begin to feel better, mistakenly believing that if they give their pain, they give up their connection to the one who has died. But in reality you will always be connected to our dear ones. Those who have been a part of you will always be a part of you. Healing from the pain of your loss will allow you to treasure your memories with more smiles and fewer tears. You’ve been hurt, deeply. Perhaps the loss you have suffered was previously unimaginable to you. You are grieving, and may be wondering if you will ever feel “normal” or be able to believe that life is good again. Yet her you are in the process of surviving that loss. You can do it—really. Take inspiration from people you know who have made their way through grief and loss. Read stories or watch films about people who have not only survived but grown stronger and more compassionate as a result of deciding to believe in the power of hope, goodness and love. Look to spiritual traditions that point to the power of life and love which transcends all death. Notice that winter always precedes spring. Pray from that place deep inside you that hasn’t forgotten the truth that life is ultimately good and worthy of your trust.

Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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There is no “magic pill” that can immediately heal a grieving heart or spiri following the death of a friend or family member. But there are coping skills ‐tools‐that you use to help you heal and be able to enjoy life again.

YOUR ANGER MAY SURPRISE YOU

You may notice an increase in irritability and impatience, snapping at others with the least provocation. One day when thinking of your loved one you may feel extreme anger at that person for leaving you instead of sadness. Anger is a human emotion. Try to let it go without harming yourself or others but do not blame yourself for feeling it.

FIND WAYS TO FILL THE VOID

When someone or something that played a major role in your daily life is gone there tends to be a huge void that can magnify grief. Part of the process of grieving is to begin to reweave the social fabric of your life. You may have spent hours every day with your beloved: how do you fill that time now? Recognize that bit by bit you will have to shift the emotion and energy once dedicated to this relationship to other people or activities.

AVOID DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

It’s only natural to want to numb the pain of losing your loved one. But in addition to physical problems, chronic use of drugs or alcohol “freezes” you emotions, preventing the process of grieving from unfolding. Alcohol is also a depressant. In small quantities it can take the edge off handling raw emotions, but in increased quantities it depresses the central nervous system. If you are already coping with a mental health problem such as depression excess alcohol use can make you feel more depressed and can interfere with the efficacy of depression medication.

USE GRIEF AS A MEANS TO GROW

As personal as your grief is no one escapes losing their loved ones. We all have to confront death and loss. Remembering that death is a natural part of life can be a springboard for spiritual growth. Grief is a powerful emotion but you do have a choice in how you manage it.

CREATE YOUR OWN RITUAL

Human beings constantly seek meaning in life. Whether through writing music, or artwork, we strive to understand our experience on earth. Wakes and funerals are the way society publicly acknowledges the death of a loved one, but you can create your own special funeral memorial or ritual. Gather special reminders of your loved one. Take time to let your senses take in all the meaning the objects symbolize.

DON’T GO IT ALONE

Although being social may be the last thing on your mind, staying connected with those who care about you or those who share the same experience of loss may be extremely comforting. One grief support resource, Good Grief Groups, developed by Georgia Chaplain Cecil W. Fike is a popular highly respected group workshop offered through the pastoral care office of some faith communities, health institutions, and funeral homes. Drawing from the work of grief experts, Granger Westberg and J William Worden this eight session workbook based group focuses on fostering an atmosphere of listening and sharing to facilitate the process of healing.

SPECIAL DAYS ARE DIFFICULT DAYS

If a special day like a holiday, anniversary, or birthday is approaching that you suspect may be difficult‐filled with memories of your beloved‐don’t wait; reach out to friends, loved ones, and your community for support. You may be surprised at how many people want to offer you comfort.

TAKE HEART

Grief is a “death and resurrection” experience. For Christmas Jesus had to go through the death of Good Friday to enter the new life of Easter. Even if you practice another faith tradition, trying to reframe your own loss and pain as a process of death and new life can give you hope that you will break through to the other side of sadness to experience joy again. Do your best to take care of the “essentials” and trust God to do the rest.

Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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My first volunteer experience was ministering to people suffering from or affected by HIV/AIDS.

All of those who volunteered were expected to participate in a health education course. As I scanned the long day’s agenda my attention was drawn to a grief workshop. I had recently lost an older relative and was looking forward to gaining some insight for myself as well as for my future charges. As the attendees filed into the small classroom my eyes were drawn to something written on the whiteboard in bold letters: “grief is not an option.” At first it didn’t quite register. But as the speaker shared her own story, the message was very clear. “After experiencing a significant loss, you may think your stiff upper lip will help you escape the roller coaster of emotions bound up in grieving the death of someone close to you. But even if you don’t cry now or feel the wide range of grief‐induced reactions in a day or two one way or another you will grieve…grief will find a way to manifest itself…in lots of surprising ways you might never have expected.”

WORKING YOUR WAY THROUGH

There is no “magic pill” that can immediately heal a grieving heart or spirit. But there are coping skills ‐tools‐that you use to help you heal and be able to enjoy life again.

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

If there’s any one thing to expect in the first months of grief it’s the unexpected. As a human being your emotions, including grief, will be as unique as you are: predicting you will feel this way for two weeks or that way for three months is impossible. But there are a wide range of physical, emotional and psychological signs and symptoms that are possible to experience in your journey through grief. And learning what they are and how they can affect you may be the best way to allow yourself the freedom to grieve.

BECOME AWARE OF UNACKNOWLEDGED LOSS

Most people associate the physical death of a person with the words grief or mourning. Any significant loss however can be felt as significant loss to be mourned. So expanding you definition of grief or loss is a great way to reframe some of the challenges you’ve experienced in your life. A friend who lost her beloved dog told me how surprised she was at the depth of her sorrow. But I also knew that she had experienced other significant losses in her life she barely spoke about; the murder of a brother some 20 years ago, the recent death of another brother from cancer and the sadness that often accompanies families torn apart by alcoholism. Her ungrieved losses came pouring out, released by the loss of this family pet. Once you redefine loss and grief for yourself construct a grief timeline, identifying and accounting for all the losses in your life you may have struggled off as “nothing.” Many of the people I work with find this exercise extremely revealing, as well as moving. It’s not uncommon for me to hear, “you know, losing my job was the hardest thing I’ve experienced; it’s like I don’t know who I am anymore.”

THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY TO GRIEVE

In her groundbreaking book On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kubler‐Ross found through her work with the dying that over and over again the process of life coming to an end seemed to follow a particular pattern. Ultimately she identified stages of dying to help people recognize and normalize the very strong emotional reactions to death. In the field of grief work, experts have also described certain “stages” with which people may identify as well. Sometimes these stages are sequential, sometimes they’re not. “To spare oneself from grief at all cost can only be achieved at the price of total detachment which excludes the ability to experience happiness.”

MAKE FRIENDS WITH DENIAL

Denial often gets a bad rap. In everyday conversation it’s come to mean a way of avoiding painful or difficult issues. Denial however is a defense mechanism which in the case of grieving significant loss can be protective. Denial is a psychological buffer, giving you a temporary respite before you are able to handle the profound sorrow that comes with the loss of a loved one.

GRIEVING CAN BE A PHYSICAL HURT

After I received news that my dad had died, my throat felt as if it were closing. There was pressure and tightness in my chest; my heart was pounding. That night I couldn’t sleep and in the morning when I awoke my whole body ached as if I had the flu. In between crying bouts, I caught myself sighing as if I had run 100 miles. When you’re grieving be gentle with yourself. Take a break from your pain by focusing on things you love to do.

Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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My father’s death in 1995 was my first experience of deep grief. Other relatives and friends had died, of course, and I had experienced various kinds of grief other than death. But Dad’s death left a vacuum unlike anything I had known.

As I talked about my sadness and grief with others, I received plenty of warmhearted and well intended guidance, often of a contradictory nature. For example, one person said, “Now be sure to get plenty of rest,” while another said, “You’re going to want to stay busy”; one person said, “Relocate to be closer to your mother,” and another said, “Don’t make any major decisions right now.” After months of listening to these kind directives, I realize that I was not following any of them; rather, I was grieving in my own way. My quiet, contemplative temperament was drawing me toward nature, to take long walks along wooded pathways; my love of books was drawing me toward reading; my passion for writing was driving me to record family history and personal emotions. In my own way, I was moving toward peacefulness with regard to the vacuum that my father’s death had left. I missed him deeply‐I always will‐ but because I was grieving in my own way, the physical absence of my father was losing its power to make the void a dark, forbidding, and painful place.

To be alive is to experience loss: the death of a loved one, the loss of a valued friendship, deterioration of our bodies, a decline in our sense of financial security, a realization that the God of our prayer is not, in fact, the God of our lived experience. As a result of these losses, we grieve. Sometimes, our grief is acute; in our walking moments we are distracted with the pain, and in our sleep we are haunted with the sense of darkness. At other times, our grief is subtle; we’re not even aware that we are grieving, and thus go about doing what we need to do to take care of ourselves. “I didn’t realize how much my son’s starting kindergarten was a time of grieving for me,” recalls Elsie. “then, at Thanksgiving, when I went to get our holiday tablecloth, I noted that I had done some thorough closet‐cleaning during the fall‐and I realized right then that I had thrown myself into some major housecleaning as a way of working through a sense of loss in Nathan’s going off to school.” The mental wellness field offers an abundance of good advice for those who grieve. This material is especially valuable because it usually gives careful consideration to a person’s age and the kind of loss being grieved. Despite its value, however, such advice will prove of little merit if we do not keep in mind that, ultimately, we must grieve in our own way.

Grieve according to your personality. I tend to be an introvert; you may be more of an extrovert. I tend to enjoy cold, dark, rainy days; you may dread the gloom. I tend to tire quickly when in a crowd; you may draw energy from being around people. These are personality differences. They are the way we are in life, and they bear heavily on the way we grieve. Take a careful inventory of what kind of person you are, and tailor your grief accordingly. The advice of family, friends, and experts will be valuable only if you apply it according to your personality. Choose things that fit your nature and that capitalize on your strengths and minimize your weakness.

“Grief can’t be shared. Everyone carries it alone, his own burden, his own way.”

Recall how you’ve grieved in the past. Think of a time when you grieved a subtle loss, and let that suggest how you might grieve an acute loss. For example, I always grieve when my children leave after being with me over the holidays. As I hug and kiss the last one goodbye, I close the door, turn to face the empty, quiet house, and say to myself, Now what? Invariably, I head for the gifts the children gave me. I finger each one, recall the joy in opening it, and imagine what I will do with it or where I’ll put it. In those subtle moments of loss, I remember the past and look ahead at the same time. That very same pattern helped me grieve my father’s death. I recorded all I could remember about special moments with him, and I pondered how precious that written memoir would be to my children and grandchildren some day in the future, when I’m no longer around to share my memories and tell my stories.

Ritualize. Rituals such as funeral services are those symbolic gestures we perform to help us make real that which is too much for us to comprehend. Rituals express life’s mystery and meaning, and can take many shapes. They can be extravagant or simple; they can involve others or just ourselves; they can include tangible objects or mere images in our minds. As you grieve, turn to those rituals that have meaning for you. Rich recalls how lighting a small candle each morning helped him grieve the loss of his job. “I just lit a candle each morning before I opened the Want Ads, and that seemed to help me face the fact that I had lost something important to me‐and that there was, for sure, light at the end of the tunnel.”

Grieve with an image. Think about people you admire and who have faced serious grief, and hold their image as you grieve in your own way. “When my son was killed by a drunken driver in an automobile accident,” shares Renee, “I thought of Mary, the mother of Jesus. Her son, too, died unjustly. I thought of how she must have sobbed deeply and raged with anger, and although I still hurt awfully, I felt like I was really with someone who knew what I was going through.” The heroic spirit of others‐people you may know personally or only know ofcan be intimate companions as you grieve your own personal loss in your own way. A friend recalls how gentle rain fell during his mother’s funeral. A relative turned to him and said, “We Irish believe a little rain at the funeral is a good thing; it’s the tears of heaven. And you’ll know your mother’s at peace when you see your next rainbow.” Nine months later, on the morning of Mother’s Day, he saw a rainbow. And every rainbow since has brought a smile to his face and comfort to his heart. Search your own memory for an image or object that was special to your loved one, or that helps you bring your loved one to mind‐ a favorite flower, a memorable song, an oft‐quoted poem, a special recipe. Find a way to hold onto that special “icon,” and let it bring you comfort and joy.

Grieve according to your own personal expectations. Nowhere will you find a universal list of “grief’s,” for that which saddens one person may be of little consequence to another. When my sister’s cat died, for example, her sobbing moved me deeply, but I would not experience the death of one of my cats to that same degree. Yet, when the cat was dying, we both knew what to expect; my sister knew she would “fall apart,” and I knew I would hold her hand while she cried. What do you expect of yourself? After all, no one knows that better than you. The fact that your employer gives you three “bereavement days” at the death of a close family member, for example, does not mean that you are finished grieving when you
return to work. Grieve what you need to grieve, in your own way, in your own time.

Grief, like any emotion, is your own‐no one else’s. No one can determine for you what you will grieve or how you will grieve. You can turn to others for support and practical advice, of course, and this, in fact, is wise. Family and friends can offer comfort, and experts can guide you with healthy counsel. No one is an island, as we learned from poet John Donne. But you would do yourself a grave disservice if you were to heed the directives of others without checking in with the foremost expert on your grief‐you.

Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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Last night I sat at a local swimming pool watching my daughter Gretchen compete in yet another swim meet. Gretchen stepped up on the block to swim the first event cleared the shallow dive and began her smooth freestyle stroke. When she turned her head to take her first breath I realized the force of her dive had shoved her goggles down over her mouth. Panic rose within me as I thought: she can’t breathe; if she touches her goggles she will be disqualified; how can she complete a 200 meter race with goggles over her mouth? She ill never make it-oh God please help her make it. Made it she did and I had to laugh. Only a mother would work herself into a dither at a summer swim meet. And then an insight: this is what we lose when our mothers die. We lose the person who rejoices in our accomplishments and agonizes in our struggles; the person who thinks we should win every race, woo every beau or belle, and succeed at every job; the person whose first urge is to protect, shelter and guide us; the person who knows what is best for us or thinks she does; the person who brags about us in our absence and offers expert advice in our presence. In sum we lose the person who is our biggest fan and our most defender.

WORKING YOUR WAY THROUGH

With all the praise it is important to remember that mothers and their children form complicated relationships. Mothers are not perfect and neither are their children. Some mothers are confidants, others are critics. Some mothers maintain control even into their children’s adulthood, and others foster a sense of independence early on. Whatever your relationship with your mother is it is important to acknowledge your feelings and grieve what has been lost.

GRIEVE YOUR MANY LOSSES

When you lose your mother your loss hits on many levels. Choosing the funeral and cremation services is a big decision. Here are a few of the losses you may be experiencing:

LOSS OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Relationships with mothers often resemble the one portrayed in Margaret Wise Brown’s Runaway Bunny where the mischievous, headstrong little bunny cannot shake off his mother’s love no matter what he does. After repeated testing the bunny finally gives up and comes home. It is an apt analogy for the staying power of a mother’s love. It is often tested, but rarely fails. So when a mother dies the loss of unconditional love is often a loss that no one else can understand much less fill.

LOSS OF IDENTITY

Roberta Bondi has written in Memories of God” “It has always been the deepest of mysteries to me that my mother has an ultimate knowledge of me as a baby and as a child that I myself can never have access to at all. It is as though a fundamental part of me has existence only in my mother’s memory and when my mother dies this part of me will die too. As life goes on people may note of you, “she is her mother’s daughter-she could organize an army” or “he is his mother’s son-he loves that farmland.” In each case one’s mother is a point of reference in determining one’s identity. Even if that involves the admission that “she’s not one bit like her mother” it is nonetheless a point of reference. When a mother dies we lose a piece of who we are. We lose the person whose story provides the beginning of our own whose sense of self greatly impacts who we are. It is not unusual to wonder: if I am no longer my mother’s child then who am i?

LOSS OF A FAMILY CONNECTOR

Through phone conversations, visits, letters and now even e-mail, mothers frequently stay in touch with each child. It is not atypical for adult children to ask about siblings or send message through Mom. When a mother dies some families recognize this loss for what it is and others wonder why they feel as if they have lost touch with siblings. One family intentionally scheduled a yearly family reunion in a central location for seven far-flung siblings. The message was explicit. Mom is no longer here to hold us together. We have to find new ways to remain family and remain connected to one another.

LOSS OF PROTECTION

In the animal world it is often the mother of the species who guards her offspring and defends them- fiercely- from harm. Mother birds, cats and lions come quickly to mind and the message is unmistakable: “don’t mess with my children.” Just so human mothers are rarely indifferent to dangers posed to their children. Children may minimize a mother’s effort to protect them particularly as they grow older. However there is a sense of security that accompanies the knowledge that even into adulthood, mothers look out for their children and God help anyone who attempts harm. That shield of protection both physical and emotional is lost when a mother dies.

LOSS OF NURTURING TOUCH

When asked about what her mother’s death meant to her Jessica said “even after I was married I would lay on the sofa at my mother’s home and she would stroke my head and play with my hair as we talked. No one else will ever do that in the same way for me.” There is an intimacy between mother and child that makes human touch both natural and comforting and cannot be replicated. The death of a mother means we lose a mother’s hug and caress. We lose the complete physical acceptance that a mother can give.

LOSS OF WHAT WE HAVE TAKEN FOR GRANTED

“I walked into a greeting card store in early May just to pick up a few birthday cards. I soon realized that there were racks of Mother’s Day cards and I had no one to whom I could send the card. It took a major act of will not to run out of the store.” Kathy’s words are a reminder that what most of the culture takes for granted- celebration of Mother’s Day in this case-is often a painful reminder of the loss endured.

LOSS OF WHAT COULD BE

Not every mother/child relationship works perfectly and when a relationship has been particularly difficult a mother’s death means that the opportunity to make peace face-to-face is gone. That is a loss of another kind the loss of a dream of a hope that things could be better. It may feel like there are no more options, no more possibilities for closure and that means accepting imperfection.

BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF AND OTHERS

Be patient with yourself-letting go is a long process. Remember that is it important to give voice and acknowledgment to painful realities as a first step in the healing process. Take your emotional pulse and be honest about what you can and cannot do. Don’t feel obligated to do anything. One woman chose not to help select her mother’s casket: “I had not need to do that and my siblings wanted to do it. I knew I could use that time and energy in another way.” Keep and reread the notes and cards people send. Don’t be afraid of the tears or the reminders; they are ways of both remembering and letting go. On occasion pick up the phone and call your Mom’s friends just to touch base. Don’t
expect that family tensions will improve or disappear. If anything they may get worse, so be prepared for hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Everyone is feeling pain and it will manifest itself in a variety of ways. Try to remember that your mom was human. Don’t glorify her memory by making her bigger in death than she was in life. That makes her an impossible role model.

CELEBRATE YOUR MEMORIES

Celebrate memories by telling stories about your mom wearing her perfume of her jewelry, framing her favorite pictures and giving them as gifts to your children. Bake her favorite pie or make her favorite recipe-it is a bittersweet reminder of the many ways in which she nourished you. Keep her memory alive not only through stories but also by making a contribution to a favorite charity, donating books to the library in her name, plant a tree at your place of worship, or endowing a scholarship at the local high school. In cherishing and celebrating your memories you transform your relationship with your mother and ensure that it will endure.

TAKE HEART

When we lose our mothers we lose much that can’t be replaced. But we are also left with much to cherish-memories, unique personality traits and strengths, wisdom and hopefully an example that can inspire us to offer nurturing love to those who remain in our lives. A mother’s love after all is never lost if it is passed on.

Remember, Cremation Options is here to help you all day, every day with your funeral and cremation needs. We’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To contact us, simply call 1-877-989-9090. At any time of day or night, you will be able to speak with one of our trained, sympathetic and understanding representatives.

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